5 Subtle Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

5 subtle red flags you should never ignore.

When we first get into a relationship, things are exciting because everything is new. What’s obvious in hindsight isn’t always apparent when it’s right in front of us. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the ‘honeymoon stage’, and overlook things we convince ourselves not to think twice about. While it may seem harmless, ignoring subtle red flags initially can lead to more destruction later on. It might be easy to convince yourself that these ‘red flags’ aren’t really flags at all, and not a reflection of the person you know them to be—but toxic behavior doesn’t always reveal itself right away. If there’s one thing you shouldn’t ignore, it’s your gut feeling, because no matter what it’ll never steer you wrong. Whether it’s words that aren’t aligning with actions or something just isn’t sitting right, here are five subtle red flags you should never ignore: 

1. Obsessive Behavior 

At the beginning of a relationship, everything is heightened, especially your emotions and your feelings. Things are always exciting when you’re starting to get to know someone, but there’s a massive difference between getting to know someone over time vs. your partner being obsessed with you the moment they meet you. This might include wanting to spend every waking second with you or having to know every single detail of your entire day—including who you talked to and when. While it’s not to say you can’t meet someone and feel that instant connection, people with this behavior often try to mold you to fit their needs.



2. Jealousy Tendencies 

There’s hardly ever a case where jealousy is good jealousy. If your partner is constantly second-guessing you or asking why you’ve talked to a friend of the opposite sex, the red flag is already there. Your partner should be secure and confident in your relationship, not accuse you or make you feel like you’re doing something wrong because you have friendships outside your relationship with them. While we might all feel jealousy here and there, the second you must sacrifice your friendships with others might indicate their jealousy is unhealthy and a cause for concern. 

3. Rushing Into the Relationship Too Quickly 

If something feels too good to be true, it usually is. Have you ever heard the term ‘love bombing’? According to Psychology Today, it’s when your partner “attempts to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection.” Most of the time, you might not notice it right away, especially if you’re blinded by the initial romance you feel. If your partner is claiming you’re their soulmate after a few dates or claiming they don’t know how they lived life without you—it could be a subtle red flag to be aware of, especially if they want to rush into a relationship with you immediately. Relationships are built over time, which typically doesn’t happen overnight. 

4. Lack of Relationship With Friends Or Family 

Does everything always come off as if it’s always everyone else’s fault? If your partner doesn’t have healthy relationships with friends or family, it’s usually an indicator that something isn’t right. While it doesn’t mean your partner needs to have a huge group of friends, it could be a red flag if they don’t have any type of relationship with anyone. Especially because this subtle behavior at first might lead to dependency on you more often than not.



5. Lies That Aren’t Adding Up

We always want to believe the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt, especially in the beginning of a relationship. The lies might be so small that you might not even notice them initially, especially if you believe your partner would never lie to you. Even if you do catch your partner in a lie, sometimes it’s easier to convince yourself that everyone makes a mistake here and there. However, if your partner is lying about the small things, what’s to say that they won’t eventually lie about the big things? 

While it might be easy to ignore subtle red flags because we want more than anything for the relationship to work, the truth always eventually reveals itself. It’s not to say that people can’t change, because they can and will if they want to—however, if you find yourself second-guessing things from the start, it might be worth reevaluating the relationship or avoiding getting into it altogether.

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