How To Let Go Of Expectations And Embrace Your Path

Lately, it feels like I’ve been searching for answers that seem impossible to find. 

When we go through something traumatic, our minds desperately seek a reason that we can cling to. We beg to ask endless questions, hoping to find an explanation as to why we endured what we did or why things turned out differently than we once envisioned or hoped for.

Our lives can flip upside down in a single moment. All it takes is one moment for everything to change; whether for better or worse. 

Even in the deepest depths of adversity we can’t understand, part of walking through it is learning that life won’t always go as planned or meet our expectations. No matter how much we wish, plan, hope, or dream for something, life always unfolds the way it’s meant to even when we can’t understand why.

While it doesn’t make it any easier, especially because we all have expectations about how we want our life to feel or look, part of the journey is learning how to trust the process. And believing there’s purpose for where we are. But how is that possible, especially in the midst of our pain? Here’s how to let go of your expectations and embrace your path when life turns out differently than you planned:

Be Gentle With Yourself 

Sometimes we need to remember to extend the same grace to ourselves that we give so freely to others. 

A part of learning how to let go of your expectations when life takes a turn is being gentle with yourself throughout the process. 

When we set expectations in our heads about how our lives should unfold and our circumstances fail to meet those expectations, it’s natural to feel initially upset. It’s okay to feel sad, disappointed, angry, or confused. We’re stronger than we think or feel, but it doesn’t mean that we aren’t allowed to immerse ourselves in our feelings. 

Learning how to let go of expectations also means accepting that you don’t have to have it together all the time, or rush your healing when you’re still trying to process your reality. 

When I unexpectedly lost my job before I launched my website, I knew that the door closed for a reason, but it didn’t hurt any less when my path looked different from what I envisioned. I mourned what was, but looked forward with hope for what was to come. 

I never pushed myself to move on by a certain timeframe, and even when I felt like I ‘should’ be over it. I allowed myself to process every emotion that I was feeling; knowing that only time could bring healing. Be gentle with yourself no matter how you’re feeling, and know that it’s okay to heal and move on at your own pace. 

Release The Past To Make Room For The Present 

Life won’t always give us what we want, but it’ll always give us what we need, even when our circumstances don’t end up matching our expectations.

The pressure of having high expectations is that when something doesn’t turn out the way we once wanted, we’re left with disappointment and the remnants of our new reality. 

I’ve recently been trying to navigate one of the hardest chapters of my life, and through that I’ve had to learn how to release expectations and my grip on the past to make room for the present and future. We try to cling to comfort, to the promise that our future will always turn out for the best. But when it turns out the opposite, we’re faced with the hard decision of how to keep moving forward despite our pain. 

Releasing the past means releasing our expectations. Letting go of expectations never means letting go of hope. It means learning how to embrace your current circumstances, trusting there’s better to come, no matter how uncertain the future feels or looks. It means pushing through the unknown until you’ve reached a point of healing on the other side. 

It’s okay to mourn the past, but never hold onto it longer than necessary. Learn how to release the past to make room for the present, because there’s always far better ahead than what we leave behind. 

Accept That Your Life May Look Different 

The problem with expectations is that from the moment we form them, we become attached to the idea of what could be or what will be.

But how can we not have expectations when we start to envision our future, or have a predestined idea of what we’re hoping for?

The biggest part of learning how to drop expectations is accepting that your life may look different than you initially thought. After college, I faced rejection after rejection when I first started applying for jobs in my career field. I couldn’t understand why at the time, but all of those ‘no’s’ eventually led me back to my hometown, where I met my now husband. 

In hindsight, when we can look at how things turned out differently than we expected, we’ll often find ourselves feeling grateful for the redirection, despite the initial pain. 

Even through our hardest trials, there’s always a purpose for our pain. Every ‘no’ eventually leads to a better ‘yes’. It doesn’t usually make sense when we’re in the middle of it, but more often than not, we’ll be thankful that things didn’t work out the way we once wanted them to. Our lives may look different from what we once envisioned, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the best for us in the end. 

Trust That There’s Always A Purpose 

It’s hard to find purpose in the unknown when we try to understand why we have to go through certain trials. 

Here are some hard truths I’ve learned even recently through the depths of my pain: not everything will always make sense, and there won’t always be defined answers to our endless questions. Sometimes the true test is how we walk through situations, and how we carry ourselves in the moments when it feels impossible to endure.

I’ve made the reference before how we can never see how a puzzle will come together right away, but time eventually shows how each piece had to carefully connect to the next, to reveal the entire picture.

Even when you’re unable to attach a reason to your pain, one day you’ll understand why everything happened the way that it did. It might not make sense at the moment, but looking back, you’ll always be able to see how it all had to connect the way it did to bring you where you are now.