How do we trust when our path feels uncertain, or when life takes us in a completely different direction than we planned?
If my life went according to how I envisioned it 10 years ago, I would be living in New York City, writing for a name-brand magazine. Writing has been my dream since I was 8 years old, and when I decided my major was going to be journalism with a concentration in news/magazine editorial, I felt like my path was a one-way track.
However, my dreams came with many challenges and redirection. In college, I was in an abusive relationship for years that caused me to lose sight of myself and my goals. But after I graduated from college and was able to leave that relationship, I did eventually land the interview I always hoped for: an internship for Seventeen Magazine.
I remember being on the plane on the way over there and feeling like this was it, this was my chance. It was everything I had worked so hard for over the years, even through the times when I felt like I lost myself because of the choices I made. The interview went as well as I could’ve hoped, but in the end, somebody with more experience ended up getting the position. I felt both devastated and relieved at the same time.
What I couldn’t see until hindsight was that I wasn’t meant to get that position. About a month earlier, I met my now husband, and that relationship likely wouldn’t have happened if I had moved states away. We can’t always understand the reasoning behind our circumstances, but we have to trust there’s always a purpose. There’s importance in trusting when your path feels unknown or when life doesn’t go as planned:
Believe That There’s Better Waiting For You
We always think we know what’s best for us, but sometimes not receiving what we think we want ends up being better for us in the end.
Outside of meeting my now husband during that time frame, I didn’t realize how much I still needed to heal from the relationship I left. If I had moved to New York, I would’ve been hundreds of miles away from my family and friends, people that I still unknowingly needed at the time.
I remember feeling like I had finally taken a step forward, only to get pulled two steps backward. I was relieved in the sense that I didn’t have to worry about packing up my things and immediately moving/finding a place to live, but I was devastated in that it felt like I lost ‘my chance’.
At that moment, I made a choice. Even though I couldn’t see a clear path of where my future was headed, I had to trust and believe that there was better waiting for me ahead.
We won’t always be able to predict what will happen because our lives are anything but predictable. No matter how much we plan, wish, or hope for something, our lives will unfold exactly how they’re meant to. It starts with believing that even when something doesn’t go according to ‘our’ plan, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t something even better waiting for us on the other side.
Trust The Wait
Some of the most trying times of my life have been during waiting seasons. The seasons that you can’t do anything but trust in what you’re believing for, even if you’re not sure what the outcome will be.
Trusting the wait is difficult, especially when it appears that your situation isn’t changing at all. It’s hard to remember that things are still happening behind the scenes, even when time passes and everything appears the same.
I read an article recently about a family that was traveling on vacation when their young daughter woke up confused and scared about where they were going. The father instantly calmed her down, reassuring her that they were just following along the path they needed to so that they could eventually reach their destination. She couldn’t see all the preparations he had made before the trip; making sure they had enough gas, checking the oil, mapping out their route, etc. She just had to trust the wait and believe that they would get where they were going.
What that story made me realize is that it’s exactly like waiting for the hard times and our circumstances to unfold in our lives. We won’t always know where we’re going, and the wait to get there may feel impossible. But learning to trust the process and believing that we’ll get there when the time is right will always make the wait a bit easier.
Fast-forward to seven years later in my particular situation, and I’m living in a beautiful home with a loving husband, writing for myself. While we can’t change our circumstances, if we learn how to shift our perspective and trust, things will always turn out even better than we initially imagined. No matter how much time it takes.
Look At It As An Opportunity To Pursue What You Want
While life felt scattered to pieces after I graduated from college and left that relationship, it gave me the perfect opportunity to pursue the life I wanted even if it wasn’t what I once envisioned.
I poured my energy into working to save money, spending lost time with the people I loved, and freelancing for different publications while figuring out my next direction.
My path felt the farthest from clear. Yet what became most important to me was learning how to pursue what I wanted out of life. Even though I might’ve felt at rock bottom, I looked at it as an opportunity to seek a new and different direction. A direction and path that would in no way hold me down or back from who I was and who I wanted to be.
I came across a quote during that time that said: “In the moment when you feel helpless, you are actually the most powerful. For it is then that you awaken to the realization that you are free to make a different choice.” When we feel lost, broken, or unsure of what to do next, if we look at it as an opportunity rather than a setback, it can help us push through with purpose even in the unknown.
Some helpful questions to ask yourself:
- What are three things I hope to pursue in the next 3 months, 6 months, etc.?
- What is something I’ve always wanted to try but held back because of fear?
- What could I do today that would help push me closer to where I want to be tomorrow?
- What is something that I’m currently settling for that I’d like to change?
Embrace Where You Are
A part of learning how to trust your journey when your path feels unknown or looks different from what you imagined, is learning how to embrace where you currently are.
Even if something isn’t happening in the timing you ‘think’ it should, it doesn’t mean that it won’t ever happen. Sometimes we need to grow into the person we’re supposed to be before we can reach where we’re meant to go.
There were so many trials throughout my life that didn’t make sense until looking backward, but I realized after that they had to happen to bring me to where I was going. Part of learning how to embrace where you are is accepting that your circumstances are happening for a reason, even if you can’t understand why at the time. A lot of situations that we face are completely out of our control, no matter how much or how fast we want them to change.
There’s beauty in even the darkest of seasons, we only have to look for the light. Not everything will make sense in the moment, but it doesn’t always have to. Because when you look back one day, you’ll be thankful for all the times that led you exactly where you are, no matter how hard they were to endure when you were going through it.
So while I might not be living in New York City like I once envisioned, I realized that everything had to happen the way it did to bring me to where I am today. Even if your life goes the complete opposite according to what you ‘planned’, know that there’s always a purpose for where you are. If something isn’t working out in the timing you thought it would, it doesn’t mean that it won’t ever happen. It might just not be your time yet.
Always trust that your circumstances are working together for your good, no matter how your life appears or looks. And remember, all it takes is a single moment for things to change.
