Let Every Experience Make You Better, Not Bitter

Let every experience make you better, not bitter.

When we walk through an experience that feels impossible to endure, we often question how we’ll push forward to the other side. After I finally found the courage to let go of the toxic relationship I was in, I was at a loss. There were many days it was hard to believe that the chapter finally closed. I found myself faced with a difficult choice on how I was going to choose to walk forward, without allowing it to negatively affect me. Each experience builds on layers of who we are, and can alter the course of our choices moving forward.

While no two situations are the same, it’s important to look at the positives of each situation rather than dwelling on what happened. I constantly challenged myself: How can I take this situation and help somebody else? How can I walk away from this horrible experience and make myself better, instead of bitter? Every situation we face has the power to change us. When situations happen to us that feel unfair and out of our control, it’s difficult to not let it impact or destroy us. Instead of dwelling on the past, take it as an opportunity to let every experience make you better, not bitter.

Focus On What The Situation Brought You

If I focused on every single negative aspect of what I endured, I wouldn’t be who I am today. For my particular situation, it felt like so much was taken away from me, yet I was given so much in return. When something unimaginable happens, you never consider how the pain will change or transform you when you’re going through it. What I went through might’ve taken away my voice for some time, but it also gave me undefined strength and purpose. It taught me the importance of surviving and the relentless hope to always be thankful for making it through. Even when you don’t know how you’re going to endure another moment, focusing on what each experience brings you will help you push through with purpose.

Be Thankful For The Hard Times

We gain strength through each difficult situation we face. Remember that you’re as strong as your toughest times. If you made it through once, you’ll always make it through again. Looking back on the hard times throughout my life, sometimes it’s hard to remember how I found the strength to push through it. You won’t be the same as before, but more often than not, you wouldn’t want to be. Each moment you felt like you couldn’t get through, it helped transform you, making you stronger and healthier than you were before. You’ll always find the strength you need at the exact moment you need it. Never lose sight of the hard times—it’ll always show you how strong you are, even when you feel the farthest from it.

Forgive Those Who Hurt You

Forgiving those who hurt you can be one of the hardest aspects of learning how to let an experience make you better, instead of bitter. While we want people to be the best they can be, people will always act how they want to act. It’s up to a person’s choice that dictates the decisions made. Forgiveness may not take place right away, but for you to close the door to move on, it’s crucial to forgive those who hurt you. It’s easy to forget that hurting people hurt people when we’re in the middle of pain. But you don’t have to carry around the weight of the situation longer than you have to. You may have to let go little by little every day, but eventually you’ll be able to let go completely.

Use It As An Opportunity To Propel You Into Change

Everything feels ten times worse when we’re walking through the storm. But if we never went through the bad, we’d find trouble appreciating all the good. We can either choose to allow the hard times to destroy us, or build us up. Never let the hard situations you face harden you and cause bitterness and resentment—instead, use it an opportunity to change for the better.

Look inside at the positives, rather than dwelling on what happened and using it as an excuse for repeated behavior. What you decide to do after you make it through your situation is what changes everything. Either we can push forward through the pain, or remain stuck in the past. Situations are out of our control, but encourage it to inspire you to come out better because of it.

Never Lose Sight Of Who You Are & Who You Desire To Be

It’s important to trust that everything will always align and come together one day. We may not be able to see the way out of a situation when we’re in it, but we always have to put trust in pushing through. I’ve learned to always be thankful for the things I can’t understand. Every time I finally make it through, I’m grateful for the people I can help throughout the process. Sometimes we go through tough times to learn how to be compassionate and understanding of others. No matter what situation you’re enduring, never lose sight of how it’s shaping you for who you are, and who you desire to be.

Some days, we may have to look a little harder to understand why we’re going through something, but there’s always a reason for our pain. Commit yourself to letting every experience make you better, not bitter.

Leave a Comment


  1. 1.12.24

    Very well said. I hope that someone reading this gleans some skills that will help them if they ever find themselves struggling. And your site is beautiful!

  2. 1.15.24
    Abby said:

    I love this. So practical and useful for me today. Thanks

  3. 1.15.24

    Forgiving those who hurt us is one of the toughest biblical commands. But as you said we have to forgive for our healing. Thanks for sharing this very inspirational post.

    • 1.15.24

      So true! It can absolutely be one of the hardest things to do, but necessary so we can heal and move on. Appreciate you reading!

  4. 1.15.24

    Love your perspective.

  5. 1.16.24
    pedja said:

    Great post. Very motivational and inspirational. Be thankful, forgive, give freely, and enjoy the day, and the situations as much as you can!

  6. 1.16.24
    Lani said:

    Light bulb moment. I’m gonna keep in mind to make every experience (good/bad) make me better, not bitter. Thanks for this!

    • 1.16.24

      I’m so glad! It’s definitely a process, but so worth it when we can take everything good from a situation. Thanks for reading!