5 Effective Ways To Increase Your Inner Confidence

5 effective ways to build your inner confidence.

I used to always assume some people were just born with inner confidence. To me, it was something you either did or didn’t have, and that mentality caused me to struggle with my own self-confidence for many years. It was something I always felt like I was lacking, even from an early age. I often wished there was a way I could bottle up my feelings, send them away, and never have to face them again. There were many times I wondered if it was something I would ever be able to overcome. 

Different events in our lives, such as not getting the job we thought we had, or being in an “almost” relationship for it to end suddenly, can have a negative influence on our self-confidence. It may seem difficult to imagine that you’ll ever be able to overcome it, especially if you aren’t sure where to start. Once I started to realize how different events in our lives can have a direct influence on our inner confidence, it started to change how I viewed and handled it altogether.

Inner confidence isn’t something we either do or don’t have. While it might appear more natural to some people, it doesn’t mean that one day you won’t have more confidence than you’ve ever had before. Inner confidence is something we all struggle with from time to time. However, when it starts affecting our daily lives and the ability to be the best version of ourselves, then we need to start learning how we can manage it.

Inner confidence requires having a positive view of ourselves; regardless of any strengths or weaknesses we might feel. Here are 5 effective ways to increase your inner confidence:

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1. Identify The Root Of The Problem

If we choose to ignore a problem because we don’t want to deal with it, the root will continue to dig deeper. I fully convinced myself that since I always lacked self-confidence, it was just a part of who I was. Challenge yourself to look inward and discover where your lack of self-confidence is coming from. Once you’re able to identify why the negative thoughts are there, you’ll be able to separate how you feel from the truth. 

For me, my thoughts often came from fear of failure or judgment. I spent too much time worrying about what other people would think if I failed, rather than taking a chance and seeing what would happen if I succeeded. 

Ask yourself if you feel the way you do because of the past. There’s always a reason why we aren’t able to focus on the path in front of us, especially if our minds are consumed with what already happened. If it is because of the past, identify what specific thing from that experience is making you lack inner confidence. Maybe you went through multiple rounds of interviews for a job you wanted, just to find out you didn’t end up with the job in the end. In turn, this might make you feel more anxious about future interviews. Figure out specific ways to help you overcome those negative feelings and thoughts.

While we might have a negative mindset because of the past, sometimes we never know what we’re being protected from until way after the fact. You may have not received that job, but maybe you didn’t because there was something even better for you. Rejection can directly influence our inner self-confidence, especially when we aren’t expecting it. But know that regardless of what happens, it doesn’t determine your self-worth.

Remind yourself just because you think something, it doesn’t always mean it’s true. The power of our thoughts can directly affect and shape how we feel and act. Once you can identify the root of how you’re feeling, you’ll be able to dig it out and deal with it so you won’t be captivated by the negative feelings anymore, while increasing your inner confidence overall.

2. Focus On Your Strengths

While we should recognize our weaknesses so we can work through them, one of the best ways to overcome a lack of self-confidence is to focus on our strengths and times we’ve seen success. Even if you aren’t where you want to be in one area, it doesn’t mean that you won’t excel ten times more in another area. 

Maybe you aren’t the best at public speaking, but you excel when it comes to handling high-pressure situations where you have to act before you can even think. We all know the more we practice something, the more it’ll increase our self-confidence. Typically, when we put more energy and focus into situations or the things that are bothering us, the bigger it gets.

If we’re only focused on our weaknesses, then naturally it’ll cause us to feel more insecure about what we struggle with. Even if there’s an area that you feel like you’re lacking in confidence, focus on everything that you do feel confident in. Identify the times you’ve felt most successful, and highlight the areas you feel strong in. You might even realize there were times you were able to overcome how you were feeling, even when you didn’t think you’d be able to. 

Self-confidence is built over time. If there’s something you’ve been struggling with and trying to work through, know that you can always work on improving it. Focusing on your strengths will help increase your inner confidence, and in turn, help you work on other areas you might not feel as strong in. 

Tips to increase self-confidence

3. Reject Any Negative Thoughts

Imposter syndrome was something that took me many years to overcome. I was constantly putting myself in a box and comparing myself to where everybody else was, which was exhausting. If there’s something you struggle with, then naturally you’re going to compare yourself to everybody who you think is better than you. This isn’t fair, especially considering we don’t actually know the truth of how other people feel. When we focus on our negative thoughts and put energy into them, we’re not giving ourselves a fair chance to overcome what we’re struggling with. 

Reframe your negative thoughts to what you know is true. For example, if you don’t feel like you’re the best at public speaking, practice as many times as you need to until you feel more confident in that area to where you don’t overthink the situation. When we focus on what everyone else is doing, rather than what we should be doing, we aren’t giving ourselves a fair chance. Plus, we never know internally what another person is struggling with, we only know what we can see. 

How we think and feel can affect every part of us. It’s not fair if we’re already speaking negatively about ourselves, rather than giving ourselves a chance. Even if it takes 100 tries before we get it right. Recognizing your doubts and insecurities can help you overcome them, and help you feel more self-confident. 

4. Face Your Fears

When I was at the height of struggling with inner confidence, I read the following book below called “Do It Afraid” by Joyce Meyer.

A book called "Do It Afraid" by Joyce Meyer

In summary, Joyce explains how fear affects everybody, but teaches how to recognize and face the fears that are holding you back; doing it afraid. It’s not to say that at times we won’t feel fear, but it’s learning how to manage the emotions and face it regardless of how we might feel inside. 

A way that I learned to increase my inner confidence was by facing my fears and doing the very thing that made me feel uncomfortable. We’ll never grow if we stay exactly where we’re comfortable. Sometimes giving ourselves that extra push and doing something that we normally don’t feel comfortable with can help us even more in the long run. 

When you commit to stepping outside your comfort zone, you might even surprise yourself by doing something you never thought you’d be able to do. Never forget that the more you do something, the more confident you’ll eventually feel. Overcoming those heavy feelings takes time, but it typically starts with one simple step in the right direction. Face your fears head-on, even if there are moments of uncertainty or second-guessing. You’ll always be more thankful that you took a chance, rather than if you didn’t take one at all. After all, you never know what could come of it and how much your inner confidence could increase after doing the thing you were afraid of.

5. Prioritize Your Beliefs Over The Opinions Of Others

While it’s easier said than done, one of the best things we can do for ourselves when we’re lacking inner confidence is learning how to ignore what other people think of us. When we’re already lacking self-confidence, we might find that we’re more insecure about things we don’t have any control over.

It’s not to say that we shouldn’t trust opinions from somebody who unconditionally cares about us, but we should never let what other people think of us control our inner thoughts. If you’re too caught up in worrying about what other people think or might think, you’ll never know who or what you could be. Especially because people are always going to have an opinion, no matter what. When we learn how to be more confident in who we are and our abilities, we’re more likely to achieve our goals towards success. Self-confidence is established in who you are, regardless of what anybody else thinks. 

If we’re not willing to deal with the negative feelings of inner confidence or push back the voice of insecurity, we’ll never receive what this life has waiting for us. Increasing our self-confidence can lead to higher self-esteem and freedom from any fear or anxiety that we may have felt before. We can’t control the outcomes of a situation, but we can choose to focus on the things that we do have control over. It’s not to say that everything will always be perfect, but learning how to work beyond those imperfections will help build your inner confidence over time.

Leave a Comment


  1. 3.12.24

    These are greats tips. I’ve never thought about it that way.

  2. 3.12.24
    Tracy McHugh said:

    Great post! It took me awhile to build up my confidence. Wish I had this blog years ago.

    • 3.14.24

      That’s so sweet, thank you so much! I feel that completely. I think it’s something we all struggle with from time to time, but situations & experiences can help us learn how to build and increase our confidence. Appreciate you reading!

  3. 3.13.24
    Jasmine said:

    Great post!✨That last point! So important to remember that our beliefs and self-worth should always come first, no matter what others may think or say. It’s definitely a journey to learn to prioritize ourselves over external opinions, but it’s a journey worth taking. Thank you for sharing! 🫶🏽

    • 3.14.24

      So true!! It can be one of the hardest things we learn how to do, but so important for our personal growth & happiness. ❤️ Thank you so much for reading!

  4. 3.13.24
    Angelia said:

    Such great tips! I enjoyed this. I have also dealt with imposter syndrome. I loved the Joyce Myer quote. She is so inspiring.

    • 3.14.24

      Thank you so much! Imposter syndrome can be hard to navigate through, and it was something I struggled with for so long until I learned how to work through the heavy feelings. I agree, she’s amazing! I listen to her podcasts quite a bit, I love how real she is and how she’s never afraid to say it how it is!

  5. 3.13.24

    As a beginner blogger and an aspiring author, I’ve felt doubt about my work and if people would like it. Your advice has already been helpful and I will take it to heart. Thank you!

    • 3.14.24

      I’m so glad you found it helpful! I remember feeling the same way when I first started out, which actually held me back for quite a long time. It’s normal to feel doubt and uncertainty, especially when starting something new. But I think the key is remembering that we each have a unique voice and perspective to the content we create. & your audience will love your content and style because it’s yours. Wishing you all the best on your writing journey!

  6. 3.13.24
    Juane said:

    I’m really enjoying your blog! Personally, what often holds me back from taking action is constantly worrying about what others might think…The tips you shared are very helpful.

    • 3.14.24

      Thank you, I really appreciate that! It’s hard not getting caught up worrying about what other people think. I used to really struggle with that, but then I realized how much it was holding me back from the things that were important to me (and, in turn, learning that people don’t usually care as much as I think they do!). But sometimes it’s way easier said than done. The most important thing is staying true to ourselves, regardless of what that might look like to anybody else!

  7. 3.18.24
    JRC said:

    I love the last point, Andrea. I have done some deep work to regulate my nervous system and create a safe landing place for my own opinions. It took a while for me to readjust and learn.

    • 3.19.24

      Thank you!! That’s so great to hear. Working on ourselves and the things we want to improve on always takes time, but it’s always worth it no matter how long it takes. I was a people pleaser most of my life, so that’s something that took me such a long time to work on, trying to learn that my opinions have a space too. Glad that you were able to create a safe space for yours, thanks for sharing your thoughts!