You’re Not Behind, You’re Exactly Where You Should Be

You're not behind, you're exactly where you should be.

Last week, when I was reading some entries in an old journal, I realized that the time I started building this website to the time I launched was exactly two years to the date.

I’ve never been a person that believes things happen by “coincidence” or “accident”. I truly believe everything that happens in our lives is for a divine purpose and reason, and the timing behind it always confirms it. 

It wasn’t by chance that I launched this publication exactly two years apart. Looking back, I know it happened that way to confirm I was on the right path all along, even when I found myself questioning if it was the direction I was supposed to be heading in. 

Coming across that realization made me take a hard look at the other areas of my life, the areas that I often felt behind in. Specifically, when I wasn’t graduating from college in the time frame I thought I would, not receiving my dream job when I was convinced I was going to, or when it seemed like it was taking forever to finally meet the man who I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. 

We can’t always predict why things happen the way they do. It’s often in the midst of our waiting that a lot of it won’t make sense until after the fact.  Not knowing how or when things will work out in our lives can cause us to feel behind or stressed about what we can’t control. Here are some reminders to help you recognize that you’re not behind, you’re exactly where you should be in life:

Accept Where You Are, Instead Of Looking At Where You Think You Should Be 

When we spend time and energy stressing out about what we can’t control, we’ll always feel behind in comparison to where we think we should be in life. 

We can’t magically speed up time and fast-forward through the hard times, or sit around waiting for our circumstances to change. If we only look at where we aren’t in life, we’ll miss exactly where we are. 

I’ll never forget the times I felt like a “failure” because I wasn’t where I thought I should be in comparison to somebody else’s timeline. When we start focusing on our definition of failure for ourselves, it blocks our mindset to realize that we can still be successful, even if we aren’t where we want to be yet.

Anything that’s truly attainable in life takes time to grow. I love the reference of how flowers never bloom overnight. And neither do we. Anything in life worth having sometimes might take longer than expected. 

Redirect your thoughts and remember that detours don’t necessarily mean denials. When we find ourselves on a path that we didn’t expect to be on, or it’s taking longer than expected, it allows us to pause and reflect on where we are vs. where we’re headed. Even if you feel behind in comparison to where you “think” you should be, it doesn’t mean you’re behind. You might just be exactly where you need to be.

Detours aren't denials

Remember That Comparison Really Is A Thief 

All comparison does is take away from who and where we are.

There’s no reason for us to compare where somebody else is because we are not them. 

I found myself even recently getting caught in the comparison trap when it came to comparing the aesthetic of my website to somebody else’s that I follow. 

But when I saw her website has been established for 5 yearswhereas mine is only 9 months old, I realized how ridiculous it was of me to be even comparing it in the first place.

It’s easy for us to look on the outside in, but we never truly know the time and energy spent behind the scenes. We can see a finished book on the shelf, but we never know how much time that person spent creating and working on it, whether it was late nights or dedicating every spare moment they have. 

The same concept applies to feeling behind in our own lives; each of us has our own timing. The timing of our lives won’t always unfold how we think it will. Enjoy where you are, and know that comparisons always fall short in the end.

The Pressure You Put On Yourself Causes Unrealistic and Unattainable Expectations 

The reality is that we’re harder on ourselves than anybody else is.

My goals this summer with my site have been to consistently post two articles a week, along with additional content on my social media accounts. However, the last few weeks I haven’t been able to keep up as much as I’d like because of other commitments. And it’s something I learned to accept that it’s okay when something doesn’t always go as we expect.

I think the most important thing we need to remember if we’re feeling behind when we set expectations is to give ourselves grace. Our best won’t always look the same, and it might look different every day. But that’s okay, because it doesn’t always have to look the same. 

No matter how it feels, commit to keep showing up and trying, regardless of the unrealistic expectations or pressure you might be feeling.

We always think that we’ll be happier when we get that job, the house, the new car, the spouse, whatever it is we’re waiting for, but we’ll never be happy if we aren’t happy within ourselves. And learn how to enjoy where we’re at until we get where we’re going. 

You aren’t behind because you aren’t living up to a certain expectation. Give yourself patience when working towards where you want to be. Everything has its divine timing, and putting unattainable expectations on yourself will only make you feel more behind. 

Believe In The Timing Of Where You Want To Be 

Even if something doesn’t show up when we expect or think it will, it doesn’t mean that it won’t ever happen. 

Sometimes if something isn’t happening in the timing we think it will, it’s either because we’re not ready for it, or it’s not ready for us.

If I had met my husband even a year sooner, the timing would’ve completely been off. I was still healing from an extremely toxic relationship, and there was so much I had to work through personally before I was ready to start dating again. Even on the days that felt so dark like I would never meet who I was supposed to be with (especially considering the majority of my friends were in serious relationships at the time), I still trusted to believe in the timing for what I wanted. 

Hope is hard to hold onto when we’re in the midst of a dark situation, but it’s in those deepest moments of feeling lost that we experience the most growth. When I think about the timing of my life, absolutely nothing made sense at the time. But looking back, I can see how each piece of the puzzle had to come together until I could see the full picture of why I had to wait. 

You might not see it at the moment but know that whenever you make it through and look back, it’ll always connect. It’ll strengthen your mindset and reassure you that you aren’t behind; it’s just might not be your time yet. 

Hope is hard to hold onto when we're in the midst of a dark situation, but it's in those deepest moments of feeling lost that we experience the most growth.

Confront And Sit With Your Fears Or Insecurities 

For me, I know a lot of my feelings of inadequacy or feeling behind stemmed from fears and insecurities I had within myself. 

Until I dug to the root of why I felt the way I did, I continued to feel that way for a long time because all I was doing was burying those feelings farther and farther. I realized that until I confronted the cause of those feelings and emotions, I wouldn’t be able to overcome them.

Most of the time, there’s usually a reason why we feel behind. Ask yourself if it’s because of the pressure you put on yourself, fear that you might not be able to achieve what you want, or insecurity because you aren’t where you think you should be. 

Once you can unpack and discover the reason why you feel behind, you can start figuring out how you can work through your emotions and feelings. Sit with how you feel, even if it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes the moments when we feel the most uncomfortable are when we discover who we truly are. 

You're not behind, you're exactly where you should be.

The pressure and inevitable expectations that we set on ourselves can cause us to feel behind in life. Remember that there’s always a purpose for where you are, and to trust in the timing of your life. You’re not behind, you’re exactly where you should be.

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