Something I’ve been asking myself lately is what contentment actually looks like, even when we feel the exact opposite.
One of the most surreal feelings is longing to feel a certain way, to reach a certain place where we feel complete peace, no matter what’s happening around us.
By definition, contentment is: “a peaceful state of mind, marked by satisfaction and gratitude for the present moment.” There’s such a push and pull when we’re trying to enjoy where we’re at, rather than fixating on the past or worrying about what the future will bring.
My nervous system has been on high alert the last year and a half. After experiencing infertility, losses, and heartache on top of scary health issues with my mom, it’s been a long season of figuring out how to hold onto happiness without drowning in constant bad news.
What I’ve learned about contentment is that it doesn’t mean we aren’t hoping or waiting to see certain changes happen in our lives, but it’s the act of learning how to be content while waiting.
Learning how to shift our perspective and expectations won’t always come naturally. But if we learn how to find contentment where we are, we’ll start seeing joy in our journey, rather than waiting to finally be happy when everything falls into place. Here are some tips to help you find contentment, no matter where you’re at in life:
Enjoy The Present Moment You’re In
In my early 20s, it felt impossible to find contentment where I was. I was either constantly ruminating on the past, or worried about what would happen if I made the wrong decision for my future.
I knew a huge part of my discontent came from believing I couldn’t fully enjoy life until my circumstances changed and everything finally fell into place. I felt lost in my direction, constantly searching for what my purpose was. I could never be happy with where I was, because I was focused on everything I didn’t have yet.
I felt behind in college since almost all my friends graduated before me, mainly because I took the longer route and graduated in six years instead of four. Instead of being grateful for the extra time I spent there, I felt miserable because I wasn’t on the same path as everyone I started with. But after I finally walked across the stage and received my diploma, I was worried about my next steps. Where would I find a job? What would my future look like?
We think that when we finally receive what we’re waiting for, suddenly our problems will disappear. But the truth is, even after we receive what we’re waiting for, there will always be something else that we’ll desire next.
Enjoying the present moment means appreciating where we are, realizing there’s beauty in each season even when we can’t understand the timing yet.
Shift Your Expectations
When we set high expectations for ourselves and fail to meet them, we feel like we’re falling short.
I was too focused about when I graduated from college, rather than realizing I was still there for a reason. During those extra years, I interned at Disney, went to different colleges and lived in various cities, and met friends that I became close with, people who I likely wouldn’t have met otherwise.
Sometimes we’ll inevitably have to wait for the things we deeply want in life, even when it doesn’t make sense why we’re waiting. A year after I moved home from college, I met my husband. If I graduated ‘on time’ with my friends, life might’ve taken me down a different path altogether, especially because my husband’s timing of moving back had to line up perfectly too.
If we learn how to shift our expectations and find contentment where we are, we’ll eventually see why things had to line up the way they did to bring us to where we are. There’s always purpose in what we’re waiting for, even when it feels the farthest away.
Related posts you might like:
- 5 Mindset Shifts That Will Change The Way You Think
- How To Find Gratitude And Shift Your Perspective
- Important Things To Let Go Of To Become Your Best Self
Be Grateful For What You Do Have
When I finally landed what I thought was my dream writing job, I couldn’t understand why I was laid off less than a year later. Within one morning of work, half of our income, insurance and stability were completely gone.
While I was initially devastated when I lost my job, I know looking back now it was a blessing in disguise. Losing my job unexpectedly didn’t define me as a person or determine my self-worth, especially since so many others were in a similar position as me.
Instead of dwelling and staying in that negative mindset, I refused to focus on everything I didn’t have and shifted my perspective to what I did have. I knew that no matter what unfolded in the future, I had a husband who unconditionally loved and supported me. And to me, that was more than enough to be content with where I was regardless of what I lost along the way.
Finding contentment where you are and being grateful for what you have doesn’t mean you’ll never experience pain, loss or feelings of uncertainty. So much of what we go through isn’t specifically about what we’re going through, but how we handle it and what we choose to focus on.
When we’re only looking at everything we don’t have, we fail to see the joy in other areas of our lives. And sometimes all it takes is pausing to recognize the beauty along the way.
Always Remember That True Contentment Comes From Within Yourself
Feeling content doesn’t come from our circumstances, it’s found within ourselves. Our happiness and contentment should never go up and down depending on what is or isn’t happening around us, even though it’s a lot easier said than done at times.
While we might feel unsettled or discontent depending on what we’re going through, we waste so much time when we focus on what’s missing or on the things we hope will change.
The timing might not always make sense to us, especially when we have to wait for something longer than expected. But remember that no matter what you’re going through, finding contentment always comes from within yourself.
We can’t always change our circumstances. Sometimes we might not even get the “thing” we desperately think we want or need. But when or if we don’t, then we have to know that there will always be something better waiting for us. It’s more about learning how to be content with ourselves and where we’re at, because in the end we’ll always be wishing that we would’ve enjoyed the process a little more along the way.
Never waste your time being unhappy where you currently are because you’re too focused on where you’re headed next. When we put our focus on the wrong things in our lives, we miss out on everything right in front of us.
Our circumstances won’t always be the same as they currently are, because things can and will change. Never lose sight of what’s truly important, especially since it’s usually the smallest things in life that end up being the biggest. If you learn how to find contentment where you are and where you’re headed, it’ll always be more than enough.
