There’s an unspoken silence we experience when we’re caught in a waiting season or the ‘in-between stages’ of our lives.
These are the waiting seasons that feel like they have no time limit, as if our circumstances are stuck on a constant loop with no end in sight. The deeper part of us wishes there was a way we could somehow fast-forward to the end, skipping over the middle where we try to connect the dots from point A to point B, as if avoiding the process would guarantee us the ending we’ve been hoping for along.
The middle and in-between stages are the places we find the most growth, healing, and stillness. If our circumstances never required us to change, it’s likely we’d stay exactly where we are because we find comfort in what we know. The in-between forces us to confront the parts and pieces we’ve tried so hard to suppress, while teaching us how to be present where we are rather than trying to rush ahead to what we’re waiting for.
Waiting forces us to slow down and re-evaluate our mindset, choices, and where we’re headed. The middle is about learning how to trust your path when it feels unknown, even if we can’t see ahead or know when the waiting season will come to an end. It helps us clarify what we want in our lives, and what simply doesn’t align with us anymore.
Our journey always serves a purpose, even when we can’t see it yet. Here are ways to stay hopeful during a waiting season:
Look For What Brings You Joy Each Day
When we find ourselves in an in-between stage, we might feel anything but hopeful. It’s hard to look ahead with hope of how things are going to turn out when our circumstances feel anything but certain.
I remember feeling this way in college when all my friends graduated before me. It felt like I was stuck in my season of waiting while everyone else was moving forward; whether it was settling in their new careers, moving to different cities, or even getting married. But looking back, I realize there were still areas that I had to grow in. Even if my timeline didn’t match theirs, it didn’t mean there was any less significance to where I was.
The waiting seasons in our lives can feel all-consuming, as if they’ll never end, especially when we’re wishing, wondering, and hoping for things to change. We prefer to fast-forward to the end, but it’s in the middle we truly learn the most about ourselves.
It came to a point when I felt miserable because I was focusing on everything I didn’t have. It made me realize how much I was missing out right in front of me, and it was then that I started to shift my mindset to focus on the things that brought me joy. Even though I didn’t have all the answers, I poured my energy into stepping outside my comfort zone, meeting new people and even taking an internship out of state, experiences I wouldn’t have otherwise.
If you find yourself struggling to find hope in a waiting season, try looking for three things that bring you joy each day. It can be as simple as a hot cup of coffee or feeling the sunshine after a long winter. Or maybe something deeper, like feeling joy that you’re learning things about yourself in this season that you wouldn’t have known otherwise. Putting your focus on everything you have helps shift your focus from everything you don’t.
Confront Your Pain By Writing It Out
Our pain becomes easy to suppress when we aren’t confronting how we feel.
During that same time in college, when I was struggling in my own waiting season, there was a period of time when I stopped writing altogether. I’ve always loved journaling because it was a way for me to express my innermost thoughts and feelings without holding back, but it felt easier to ignore how I felt because I was afraid to deal with truths within myself.
It’s not that I didn’t necessarily want to do the work to get where I wanted to be, it was that I felt stuck in a mindset wondering if what I was hoping for would ever happen. When we’re in a waiting season, our hope can feel unattainable because we never know exactly when we’re going to make it to the other side. The waiting feels endless, and it feels easier to fall trapped in our feelings than face them.
Even now, as I find myself in a different season of waiting in my life, I’ve leaned into confronting my pain by writing how I feel. Sometimes we might not even realize the thoughts we’re harboring until we’re able to release them. Whether it’s journaling, or simply expressing your thoughts in a notebook, it can feel easier to confront your pain by writing it out.
Confronting your pain might require you to ask yourself the deeper questions, such as:
- Where is my pain stemming from?
- What are some fears I have associated with this pain?
- What happens if I don’t get what I’m waiting for? Can I still find joy where I’m at, even if it’s not the outcome I want?
- Think about a past season when you’ve been waiting. If the circumstances turned out different from what you were hoping for, how did you handle it?
- In what ways can I grow from this season of waiting? What is it teaching me? (Patience, gratitude, joy, etc.)
We won’t always be able to jump right to the end of a waiting season, but learning how to work through our pain can help us grow in ways that we would’ve never been able to otherwise.
Sometimes it’s as simple as thinking back to a hard time in our life, and how we pushed through it, knowing that we always find the strength to make it to the other side. Confronting your pain means showing up for yourself time and time again, pushing forward despite feeling like there’s no end in sight.
Focus On Your Purpose
Our purpose is never found in what we do, but rather, in who we are. You aren’t defined by your job title, how much money you make, or anything trivial. Your worth isn’t found in your progress or the number of boxes you can cross off a checklist, it’s found in the person you are and the choices you make.
When I was reading through an old journal from several years ago, I noticed entry after entry I kept writing how I felt like I couldn’t find my purpose. It felt like something that I was consistently working toward, yet I wasn’t seeing an ounce of anything moving in my life. Day in and day out, my life felt exactly the same, because on the surface nothing appeared to be changing.
But what we fail to realize throughout the in-between stage or when we’re in the middle of waiting is that things in our lives are always moving. Maybe you’re waiting for a degree, spouse, career shift, child, or house. Instead of putting so much emphasis on what you’re waiting for, remember to never lose sight of where you are now.
You’ll never be in this season again, and while we always want to skip over the hard times because they can feel unbearable to handle, there’s purpose for where you are; even when you can’t see the reasoning yet.
Waiting Is Preparation, Not Your Final Destiny
Waiting can feel like time is standing still, yet it’s in these seasons when the most significant changes happen. It’s easy to feel frustrated or resentful when our situation isn’t changing or progressing as we hoped, but it’s in the middle—during a season of waiting—that we experience the most growth.
We can’t always see when our circumstances will come together, but each experience brings us closer to where we need to be. I had many layers of trauma and pain to work through in my waiting seasons, all of which I unknowingly tried to bury. If I never had those ‘extra’ years to work on myself, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Even when we try to convince ourselves that we’re ready for what’s next, we might not be as prepared for it as we thought we were. Sometimes we need to be misaligned to get realigned on the path we’re meant to be on.
Instead of seeing your situation as a never-ending wait, remind yourself that it’ll turn around at the right time and never a second too soon or too late. It’s normal to feel doubts and fears, wondering if your situation will ever work itself out. But sometimes we have to confront deeper parts of ourselves before we’re able to move forward.
Waiting is preparation for what’s to come. It’s a chapter in your journey, not the whole story. Appreciate where you are even if it’s not where you want to be, because the transition stage is where you’ll end up growing the most.
Growth doesn’t come from certainty, it comes from pushing through moments of doubt and continuing to move forward even when we feel stuck. It comes from finding a small fraction of hope, and holding onto it with everything you have. Because even when you can’t understand why you’re in a season of waiting, hope will always carry you through.
