6 Things You Should Never Compromise On In A Relationship

Before I was in a loving and healthy relationship, I wasted too much time trying to fit the mold of who somebody else expected me to be. When we want something to work, we tend to overlook subtle red flags and things that normally make us think twice. I thought that if I changed pieces of who I was, the relationship would somehow magically improve or go back to how it was in the beginning. There were many times I compromised on my morals and inner happiness, solely to keep peace with the other person.

A relationship shouldn’t just be about one person conforming to what the other person wants or needs. But, rather, the two of you coming together separately, despite your differences. While there will be times you’ll have to make sacrifices in a relationship, here are 6 things you should never compromise on:

1. Never Compromise On Your Self-Worth 

If there’s one piece of advice I could’ve given to myself 10 years ago, it would’ve been to never sacrifice my self-worth for anybody. 

When we lower our standards and settle for less than we deserve, we’re missing an opportunity for a true and healthy relationship. The person you’re with should always make you feel like a better version of yourself, not less. In the relationship I was in before my husband, I constantly questioned my self-worth daily. I convinced myself I deserved where I was because of my past choices, so I wasn’t holding myself to a higher standard.

The amount of pain I experienced could’ve saved me a lot of heartache if I knew the importance of never sacrificing my self-worth and the way I viewed myself. Your past doesn’t define your future. When we’re confident in who we are, we become a lot less tolerable when somebody makes us question what we know to be true about ourselves. You aren’t your choices, and it’s never worth compromising the person you are just to make somebody else feel better about themselves.

Looking back, it makes me want to hug my insecure, 22-year-old self and tell her that your self-worth is worth more than anything. A loving and healthy partner loves and respects you for the person you are, flaws included. For every person that doesn’t appreciate you, there’s somebody else out there who will unconditionally love you and never make you think twice about yourself.

2. Never Compromise On Your Values Or Opinions 

While you and your significant other won’t agree on everything, you should still respect each other’s values and opinions, even if or when they aren’t the same. Along with compromising my self-worth in the toxic relationship I was in, I realized how much I lost sight of my values because I was constantly trying to mirror what the other person believed. 

If my opinion wasn’t the same, then in his eyes, it was wrong. And there’s so much wrong with that way of thinking. I often found myself feeling like I couldn’t express my true thoughts because it would turn into a full-blown argument. I was labeled as “too sensitive” and overreacting if I simply disagreed with something, so I started avoiding certain conversations altogether just to prevent conflict.

Our thoughts, feelings and perspective matter. A healthy relationship should always encourage both people to feel heard, even when you might disagree. Your voice is always important and you should never have to change the person you are to fit into who somebody else expects you to be. Never compromise on your values and opinions just because it’s different from what your partner thinks or believes.

3. Never Compromise On Your Dreams

This is a huge one. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that I almost compromised on a major dream of mine because of my partner’s insecurities and jealousy.

When I started college, I knew I wanted to pursue writing, but had no idea what career path to take. After six years and a few detours along the way, I was finally in my last year of college with only 24 credits left to complete my journalism degree.

A couple of months into the semester, I was struggling. More emotionally than academically, but suddenly it felt extremely challenging for me to even find the strength to attend my classes. I’ll never forget when my ex was encouraging me to drop out of school. If I wasn’t so close to the finish line, I might’ve listened to him. But thankfully I ended up walking across the stage and getting my degree because I stayed true to the promise I made to myself of always finishing what I started.

Fast-forward to when I met my husband, shortly after I had an interview in New York City (which was my dream for so long). While we weren’t officially dating yet, we instantly clicked and I’ll never forget the support and encouragement to pursue that dream no matter what that meant for the future of us. Which was the complete opposite of my last relationship.

Never compromise on your dreams for another person. Your partner should always encourage you to pursue what’s most important to you, not discourage you or leave you without support. No matter what the situation looks like or the amount of time it takes to get you there.

4. Never Compromise On Self-Respect 

Through previous relationships and the many different people I’ve met throughout my life, I’ve learned the importance of never compromising on self-respect. When we conform to what other people want, we start settling for less than we deserve. 

The best relationship advice I ever received was summed up in three simple words: love doesn’t hurt. No matter what type of argument or disagreement you and your partner are having, the words should always be healthy, uplifting and positive. 

When you love somebody, it’s easy to make excuses for their behavior or convince yourself that things aren’t “that bad” or “they could be worse”. You should never have to beg the person you’re with to respect you or feel like you have to constantly prove your worth. Your inner peace and boundaries are more important than trying to please somebody else.

Related posts you might like:

• 5 Signs You’re Trying To Force A Relationship
• How To Handle Conflict In A Relationship
• The Importance Of Loving Yourself Before Loving Somebody Else

5. Never Compromise On Your Happiness 

True happiness comes from within ourselves, not relying on another person to fill that void.

I became such a shell of a person when I was letting my happiness become dependent on somebody else’s mood, or how they decided they wanted to treat me. I started losing sight of the things that truly made me happy, whether it was writing, spending time with my friends or family, or doing hobbies that I loved and enjoyed. 

A healthy relationship should add to your happiness, not be the only source of it. We start losing parts and pieces of who we are when we put our happiness solely in our relationship. You should still feel like yourself outside the relationship, and while it’s normal that things will change in your life, it shouldn’t change the core of who you are.

Never compromise on your happiness for somebody else. The person you’re with should encourage you to continue pursuing the things that bring you joy, support your passions, and value the relationships that are most important to you.

6. Never Compromise On Trust 

Your gut feeling will never lie to you. If you always find yourself second-guessing if you can trust the person you’re with, the red flag is already there. I’ve learned the hard way that if something feels off, there’s a reason for it. Time after time, I tried to convince myself that maybe I was overthinking or my feelings were wrong, only to realize that my bad feelings were deep down trying to tell me the truth all along.

When you’re in a relationship, there should always be an equal amount of trust on both sides. You shouldn’t feel like you constantly have to bend over backward trying to explain yourself, prove your innocence, or reassure the other person that you weren’t doing anything wrong. Trust is the backbone of relationships. False accusations can cause you to question your reality, but the truth doesn’t change just because somebody else doesn’t want to believe it.

Never compromise on trust in a relationship, especially when it comes to your intuition. Patterns repeat themselves and sometimes the things we try hardest to avoid are often what we need to pay attention to the most.

Compromises and sacrifices are important in a relationship, but not when it comes to compromising on who you are. The person you’re with should always make you feel like a better version of yourself. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re compromising on everything you stand for, know that there’s someone better out there who will never expect you to be anybody but yourself. And above all, always remember: Love never hurts.