5 Ways To Find Happiness In Any Season You’re In

My journey to find true happiness and contentment throughout my 20s felt never-ending at times. 

It seemed like a curvy, winding path that no matter how often I felt like I tried to go in the right direction—I could never actually reach the final destination of happiness. 

But what some of the hardest times of my life taught me was that being happy is never a circumstance; it’s a mindset. It’s not something that we ‘finally’ reach when we get to where we’re supposed to be. It’s found in the small and big moments, and everything that makes us who we are. 

I always felt when I was grieving something that was hard to move past, happiness couldn’t exist. But what I learned is that grief and joy can simultaneously exist. You can be grieving about something from your past, and at the same time feel joy for what’s to come.

It’s honestly in those moments of heaviness that if we focus on the light rather than the darkness that feels all-consuming, it’ll help push us to find our way to the other side. Finding happiness is about learning how to find joy in your journey, no matter where you’re at in your life.

1. Ask Yourself What Brings You True Happiness 

There was a time in my life when if somebody had asked me what brings me true happiness, I don’t know that I would’ve been able to come up with a solid answer.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful for the people and things I had in my life, but I felt like I was always looking for happiness. I was constantly trying to figure out exactly what I needed or wanted to fulfill my purpose and achieve the happiness I desired. My thoughts were either focused on the past or fixated on the future, which prevented me from finding happiness in the present moment.

But if I had stepped away from my thoughts and feelings of unhappiness, I would’ve realized that happiness doesn’t always come easy. Sometimes it’s not a black-and-white answer like we think it is, and sometimes we’ll have to work harder to find our happiness so we can feel our light again. When we keep holding on to the things we’re supposed to let go of, we’ll never make space for what’s to come.

Ask yourself what brings you true happiness, or what it looks like to you, outside your current circumstances. Who or what fulfills you, what things in your life add to your happiness, rather than take it away? Sometimes we don’t even realize what we have to subtract from our lives so that we can make space for everything that’s meant to be there.

Rather than focusing on those things that you don’t have, focus on everything that you do have and what makes you whole. Fast-forward from all of those years of feeling unhappy, and there are so many things I choose to focus on when I feel myself slipping up: a loving husband, a beautiful home, and the best family and friends I could ask for. Defining true happiness won’t look the same for everyone, but focusing on what brings you joy can help you shift your mindset to what matters most.

2. Lean Into Change, Not Away From It 

Change is inevitable, and the only constant thing in our lives is change. Whether we’re forced into change (figuring out life after graduation, getting a new job, etc.) or we’re the ones taking initiative (a breakup, moving away, or a major life change), it’s not always easy or comfortable. But sometimes, change is the very thing we need to push us toward where we need to be. 

I’ll never forget when I had my internship at Disney. The first job I worked, I felt miserable because it was the complete opposite of what I initially imagined it would be. I worked by myself 95 percent of my shifts and on top of that, I felt like I wasn’t meeting anybody. About a month into my job, I finally came to accept that this was how it was going to be for the duration of my internship—even if it wasn’t what I had initially pictured.

A few days later, I woke up to a phone call saying that I was being transferred to a different department. Even though I was only in that first position for a little over a month, it showed me that even when things felt like they weren’t changing; they actually were, and I had to learn how to always trust in the process, even when I couldn’t understand the reasoning at the time.

Change won’t always make sense to us, but sometimes it’s what we need to completely transform our lives. Lean into change, not away from it, even if it feels scary or unknown. Life has a way of working out exactly how it needs to, even if it’s not on our timeline. We might not feel strong during those changes, but learning how to lean into and embrace them can ultimately lead us to where we need to be.

3. Never Be Afraid To Carve A New Path 

After I was laid off from my last job unexpectedly, I felt completely lost in my direction at first. 

When something happens in our lives without warning, it can throw us down a path that we didn’t plan to be on. At first, everything felt completely unstable, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to find my direction moving forward. I applied to jobs daily for months on end, but I either wasn’t getting anywhere, or I wasn’t receiving the offers that I desired. 

Throughout this period, I decided it was the perfect time to finish building this website that I had started years prior. Now, looking back, I know if I had never lost that job, I would’ve never finished my website when I did. And if I never launched it when I did, then I wouldn’t be where I’m at today.

Some of the best advice I’ve received was that: If something isn’t working—change the plan, but never the goal. I knew I always wanted to write for a living. So when I finally landed a full-time job writing instead of freelancing, I felt like it was it for me. Then, when that didn’t work out, I realized it was time for me to shift directions, carving a new path, even if it wasn’t the path I initially envisioned. 

If you aren’t happy with where you are, never be afraid to explore other options and carve a new path for yourself. The unknown is always scary, but you’ll never know where it’ll lead you. 

4. Find What Supports Your Dreams And Goals 

Over half of learning how to find your happiness is finding what supports your growth, hopes, and dreams.

When I look back at the times in my life when I felt unhappy, I realize that I was placing my happiness into the hands of the wrong people. I stayed in relationships that I was supposed to let go of, out of fear of what that meant for me and my future. Some of those relationships were hindering my growth, and ultimately holding me back from pursuing my hopes and dreams. 

We each have a purpose in life, and there’s always a reason why we are where we are. Sometimes what we can’t see in the present, we’ll be able to see in hindsight. And often times, we might not realize how much we’re holding ourselves back by holding onto things or people that we’re meant to let go of. 

One of the most helpful things I did to discover what supports my dreams and goals was writing down what I hoped to achieve three months from now, six months, and so on. There’s something about writing down what you’re hoping and believing for, and eventually being able to look back on that and see how everything aligned how and when it was meant to. 

After you write down what you’re believing for, list two to three ways for each of how you can start working towards achieving what you want. Even if it’s only a little at a time. After all, the little things we do in our lives may very well end up leading to the most significant changes in our lives.

5. Focus On How Far You’ve Come, Rather Than How Far You Have To Go 

Too often, we focus on how far we have to go, rather than realizing how far we’ve come and all the progress we’ve made. 

When things in our lives move at a pace that feels impossible for us to keep up with, we might feel behind or struggle to keep our heads above water. But I think it’s in those heaviest moments that we need to remind ourselves to simply breathe. We’ll get where we’re meant to go, at the exact time we’re meant to, and not a moment too late. It’s never about focusing on our pace or success, it’s about continuing to move by putting one foot in front of the other. 

We aren’t meant to stay stagnant where we are, and sometimes that growth process will be the farthest thing from easy. It might feel simple to get down on ourselves for not being where we want to be, but we have to remember all the steps we’ve taken to get where we’re at. Remember, a flower never competes with the flower next to it. It blooms in its own time and at its own pace. 

Focus on how far you’ve come when it comes to your happiness and finding your path, rather than how far you have to go. You’ll always get where you’re meant to be at the exact moment you’re supposed to. 

Happiness is never a final destination; it’s a journey and process that unfolds over time, teaching us how to be grateful for where we are and what we have. Even if something doesn’t go exactly how you planned or envisioned, trust that it’s leading you exactly where you’re meant to be. The best things happen over time. The secret to happiness is learning how to find joy no matter what season you’re in.