How To Move Past Your Almost Relationship

How to move past your almost relationship.

I read a quote about rejection the other day that made me think twice. Since I started freelance writing again, I joined several groups to connect with other writers. Somebody was discussing how they felt defeated after being unemployed for over 10 months. After finally making it to the last round of interviews, the person found out somebody else was chosen for the position—before they even had the opportunity to do the final interview. As I read the comments, one in particular stood out: “Sometimes the best decisions in life are made for you by other people.” 

I thought about how relevant the quote is to relationships and dating. Specifically, to the almost relationship, where you’re basically dating without an official title. The ones that abruptly end when someone else decides it’s over before it actually begins. Looking back, we can always see the clear picture of why things happened, since it helps guide us exactly where we are now. However, when we’re in a situation, it’s hard to separate ourselves from it and see how the dots will connect. 

The almost relationships we’re in can feel just as difficult to move on from because they feel real. We become emotionally attached before we realize it, and suddenly we find ourselves questioning how we can feel that way when it wasn’t ‘official’ in dating terms. Here are some reminders on how to navigate through the chapter when an almost relationship ends:

Remember That What’s Meant For You Will Always Find A Way To You

Unfortunately, we all know we can’t change the past or predict the future. Many things are out of our control, even if it’s something we want or desire. Trust that if a relationship didn’t work out as you expected, it wasn’t the right time. I bought a new puzzle a couple of months ago, and as I started putting the pieces together, I thought about how much time it takes until we can see the whole picture.

While we can’t see it all from beginning to end, we have to trust everything will come together piece by piece over time. When you look back one day, everything will make sense as to why something didn’t work out. There are always far better things ahead. The things meant for you will always find a way to you. No amount of time, distance, or person can come between that. Everything will unfold in exactly the right timing.

Grieve The Relationship For What You Thought It Was 

Maybe the feeling of attachment to an almost relationship that didn’t work out, happens because of how badly you wanted it to work. When everything finally feels right, it’s frustrating when it feels like it was pulled out from under you. I thank God for the things that didn’t work out for me, because life always turned out better than I imagined.

Nothing feels worse than rejection, especially when you felt like everything was going right. Grieve the feelings you’re experiencing, but pick yourself up as quickly as you fell down. We’ll drive ourselves crazy trying to question why it didn’t work out like we thought it would. Remember, what you’re waiting for could come right after you let go of something that wasn’t meant for you.

Spend Time With People Who Deeply Care About You 

While grieving your almost relationship, invest your time in people who deeply care about you—the ones that would do absolutely anything for you. I’ll never forget the time one of my best friends showed up to my house when I was sulking in bed. She physically grabbed the covers off me and pulled me out of bed, which actually made me laugh out loud for the first time in days.

I was so grateful for her at that moment. It made me realize what I was doing, wasn’t doing anything for me except making the situation worse (with the exception that sometimes you do just need to let it all out). It also was a reminder of how happy it made me being around somebody who cared about my well-being. 

Surround yourself with the people who love and care about you more than anything. They’ll help you shift your focus on the things that truly matter, such as how deeply loved you are.

Acknowledge The Lessons You Learned 

Whether we realize it or not, there’s always a lesson when we’re going through something. While we might want to look the other way and not deal with it, it’s important to acknowledge everything we’ve learned. Maybe the lessons are red flags you failed to notice, or a realization that you weren’t number one priority. There are many lessons to take away from an almost relationship that didn’t work out. While it can be hard to acknowledge it at the time, it’s also so important. It can help direct our steps in the future, and provide us with a new self-awareness that we might have not known before. 

Stop Believing The Lie That Something Is Wrong With You

Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. I believed that lie one too many times. Even if something isn’t working out for you like you thought it would, it doesn’t mean it specifically has to do with you as a person. Sometimes we aren’t meant for certain people because we’re meant for somebody else. It’s easy to get caught up in the thought process of feeling like something is wrong with us, especially when things feel like they’ll never work out.

Don’t allow yourself to dwell in that mindset for too long because it’s the farthest thing from the truth. Instead of thinking something is wrong with you, remember that the things that aren’t working out for you could be the best thing for you—even if you can’t see it at the moment.

Grieving an almost relationship can leave you feeling defeated. Never discredit your feelings, and always give yourself as much time as you need. What’s real to you, was real to you, regardless of how or when it ended. And as a stranger once said: “Sometimes the best decisions in life are made for you by other people.” We might never close a door if it didn’t close for us—however, it always sets us on the path we’re meant to walk on and who we’re meant to walk with. That’s the beauty of things not working out how we think they will, something better always comes along.

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