5 Truths I’ve Learned In My 30s

5 truths I've learned in my 30s.

While I’m still in the early years of my 30s, it already feels drastically different from my 20s. I honestly dreaded turning 30. I remember multiple people telling me right before my 30th birthday that it would be the best yet, and how much better things would be because everything finally intertwines and comes together. It wasn’t the actual age that bothered me (because we know it’s just a number), but the expectation of having it altogether by the time you turn 30. Although some things did fall into place by the time I turned 30, there was a lot I still felt unsure about.

Throughout the last couple of years, I realized there was some truth to that advice about turning 30. I started thinking about how thankful I am that I don’t have to relive some of those hard lessons I experienced in my 20s. The lessons that made me dig inside and learn who I amIt’s ironic when we think we have everything all figured out, or somehow we think we know everything when we’re barely at the beginning of a new life stage.

Time taught me the beauty of learning how to let go, to embrace each stage and experience as it comes. It taught me that even when we think we have everything figured out, there’s still more to learn. While we’ll always be learning and experiencing new things no matter what age we’re at, here are 5 truths I’ve learned in my 30s:

1. I’ve Learned To Let Go Of Trying To Figure Everything Out

We want to figure everything out, because we never know what the unexpected might bring. The need for trying to figure everything out stems from trying to prepare ourselves for what’s to come.

Throughout my 20s, I was always trying to figure everything out, so I could prepare myself for what was next. I remember feeling constantly anxious at a previous job, because I never knew what to expect from day to day. After losing that job unexpectedly, I realized that I was holding on too tight to the obsession of always wanting to figure everything out. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes no matter how hard we try to figure something out, something else will happen and take us in a completely different direction.

Regardless if we think we have something figured out beforehand or not, no matter what is going to happen, will happen. Our decisions and choices can play a role in our outcomes. But as long as we’re doing what we know to do, all we can do is hope for the best in our situations because we can’t physically control what’s happening.

Once I let go of always needing to figure everything out, I felt a lot less stress and anxiety in my everyday life. It’s hard to shift that mindset at first, especially if it’s what your mind is used to reverting to. In the end, you’ll realize you wasted all of that time trying to figure it all out, just for life to play out how it was meant to anyway. Let go of the need to figure everything out—everything always comes together in its divine timing, which is hardly ever in our control.

2. I’ve Learned To Let Go Of The Need To Please People

People-pleasing was something I struggled with for so long. My 20s were full of the need to please other people at the expense of sacrificing how I felt. To the point where I accepted that’s who I was. While I still struggle with it at times, I’ve learned in my 30s the power of saying no, and how to establish those boundaries to protect my mental health and well-being.

We should never completely disregard others and their feelings. But there’s a difference in being there for somebody when they need us, vs. being a doormat for somebody to walk all over when it’s convenient. Learning how to stick up for myself and speak up on how I felt took time. I was put in situation after situation. Until finally, little by little, I learned how to stand by the things that are most important to me.

Realizing that people are going to have an opinion no matter what, helped me learn how to let go of always wanting to please people. It’s impossible to please every person with every decision you make. If you can learn how to separate the need for people pleasing and staying true to yourself, you’ll notice a major change in how you handle situations moving forward.

Once I learned how to start saying no in situations I wasn’t uncomfortable with, there was such a huge shift in my relationships with others. People who unconditionally love you will respect your decisions, even if it doesn’t align with what they think.

3. I’ve Learned To Remember That A Moment Is Only A Moment

When we’re deep in a situation, sometimes it can be hard to remember that there will ever be a way out. Throughout the situations and experiences in my 20s, there were many times I felt like it would never end. As I learned with growth over time, I realized that a moment is just that: a single moment.

Our days are made up of 24 hours for a reason. Each day allows us to start over fresh and new without carrying the previous day forward. I dwelled on situations for way too long, and in turn, it caused me to lose sight of what was actually important.

Even now, if something small goes wrong in my day, I always remind myself that it doesn’t have to ruin my entire day. You can let it ruin a single moment, but in the end it’s only a moment in time. If we start to look at life through a series of moments rather than time as a whole, it can help us handle the difficult times a little easier. There are pieces of memories we might have that are strung together, but all the trivial stuff never matters in the bigger picture.

When it feels like what we’re going through is never going to end, it’s hard for us to keep and maintain a positive and healthy mindset. Once we realize that no matter what we’re going through comes to an end eventually, it helps shift our perspective so we can continue walking through the situation with our head held high. Now when I face any circumstance out of my control, no matter how big or small the situation feels, I remind myself: a moment is only a moment. If we break it up in series of moments, rather than time as whole, it’s easier to separate.

4. I’ve Learned To Stop Worrying About Things I Have No Control Over

There were too many sleepless nights to count that I spent worrying about things I had no control over. When I first moved home after graduating from college, my life felt nothing short of a mess. I was so focused on trying to figure out my next direction, that I missed out on what was right in front of me.

There’s no sense in stressing or worrying about things you have zero control over, because you can’t do anything about it anyway. I look at the situations that I used to put so much focus and energy into wondering what might happen, all for it to be out of my hands to begin with. It’s hard to see a way out when we’re just trying to get through, but no amount of stressing or worrying will change the situation you’re in regardless.

Once I realized that no amount of wishing or worrying would change my situations, it helped me walk through the situations I was in a little easier. Sometimes I think we’re only given what we can handle, because there’s no way we’d be able to handle it all at once. Even if we convince ourselves that we could. All worrying does, is cause anxiety and make us focus on anything other than the present moment. Worrying can also cause us to think of the worst-case scenario, rather than trusting that the outcome you want is the one you will receive. Once you stop worrying about things you have no control over, you’ll enjoy life even more, regardless of what does or doesn’t happen.

5. I’ve Learned How To Drop Unrealistic Expectations

Putting expectations on ourselves will only hold us back. Especially if we’re not living up to them in the time frame that we initially imagined. It sets an unrealistic time stamp on our dreams or where we’re at in life, causing us to feel behind.

When I’ve placed pressure on the expectation of something turning out how I imagined it would, it usually turns out in a completely different way. But it’s always the best way. It’s not to say that we can’t have expectations for how we want things to turn out, but it’s important to equally accept that it might not go exactly the way we want or imagine. And that’s okay.

Even if we aren’t where somebody else is, it doesn’t mean that we won’t be there eventually. I graduated from college a couple of years after my friends. While I felt behind at the time, I realize looking back, that I needed those extra years to grow and learn things that I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. Detours do not mean denials. Dropping unrealistic expectations can help you focus where you’re at, even if it’s not the way you envisioned it.

Each chapter of our lives brings new experiences and life-lessons. It can be hard learning how to let go of things that we’ve always held onto. But just remember that you don’t always have to have everything all figured out. Eventually it’ll all come together exactly how and when it’s supposed to.

Leave a Comment


  1. 2.17.24
    Hari said:

    This is an awesome and honest read of your experiences in my opinion. Letting go is the challenging part of our lives but when we know how to do it, we feel a lot better in many ways.

    • 2.19.24

      Thank you so much! I used to struggle with letting go SO much, I always convinced myself it was easier to hang on. But letting go takes strength and makes us even stronger in the end. I appreciate you reading!

  2. 2.17.24

    This is such a great article. While some of these are easier said than done, they are all very necessary.

    • 2.19.24

      Thank you so much, I appreciate that! SO much easier said than done at times, but always worth it!

  3. 2.17.24
    Debbie said:

    Great lessons and truths! As the years progress for me, I’ve learned to let go of people-pleasing as well. I still struggle with it sometimes – but, it gets easier with each birthday.

    • 2.19.24

      Thank you!! I agree, it’s always a work in progress, learning how to stick by your boundaries. But it definitely does get easier learning how to deal with it over time! ❤️

  4. 2.17.24
    Karolina said:

    I love this post, it feels so relatable as I turned 30 not so long ago and it was a game changer in so many similar ways to your experiences.

    • 2.19.24

      Thank you so much! I know, I didn’t realize at the time how many things perspective-wise would shift transitioning into my 30s. Everything always unfolds over time with the experiences and life changes we go through!

  5. 2.19.24
    Marina said:

    Turning 30 this year, and it was really nice to read. I can’t say that I look forward to saying “goodbye” to my 20s, but you reminded me that each decade is special in its way.

    • 2.20.24

      Thank you!! I feel that 100 percent. But yes, each decade brings different experiences, new memories & opportunities that we might’ve never experienced before. It’s always hard when a chapter closes, but there’s always something to look forward to! ❤️

  6. 2.20.24
    Khush said:

    Good to read about your experiences. I learnt in my thirties to let go of things which are not in my control and to think less about those things.

    • 2.20.24

      I appreciate that! & such an important lesson to learn. One of the biggest challenges can be learning how to let go no matter what comes our way. But once we’re able to do that a little more each time, it does start to get easier. Thanks for sharing!

  7. 2.20.24
    Selene said:

    Yes to all of these lessons. I love reading that regardless of our age we keep learning more about ourselves and life in general. For me it was all of the above plus learning that there is good in the bad.

    Learnt the hard way but I do believe it is an important one 🙂 Thanks for sharing

    • 2.20.24

      So true, always have to learn to take the good with the bad & know that we’ll never stop learning and growing! Thanks for reading ❤️

  8. 2.28.24
    Amberly said:

    I too am in my early 30s and can relate to just about all of this. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with other young adults

  9. 2.28.24
    Tara B | Breakthrough Loading said:

    Such valuable lessons are part of the blessing that comes aging. Thank you for sharing your honest experiences to support others as they grow as well.

    • 2.29.24

      Each age really is such a blessing, even through all the hard lessons we have to learn. Thanks for reading!

  10. 3.15.24
    Stephanie said:

    I so enjoyed reading this article. I am well past 30 but the thoughts here resonated with me as I experienced much of the same years ago (although you were much more insightful than I!).