5 Signs You’re Emotionally Available For A Relationship

5 signs you're emotionally available for a relationship.

One of the most important aspects of knowing if you’re ready to get into a relationship or start dating again after a breakup, is determining if you’re emotionally available. Emotional availability is when you’re able to openly connect and communicate with someone. It means you’re not afraid to express your own emotions, while being receptive to others’ emotions as well. 

For many months after I got out of a toxic relationship, I was far from emotionally available. There were so many things I needed to work on within myself, including trying to rediscover my self-worth and learning how to love myself again

Without even realizing it, I started putting up walls to guard my heart and emotions in fear of letting somebody else in who could potentially hurt me again. Temporarily, the walls prevented me from moving forward. The only way I could break those walls down was by giving myself time and patience to heal. I knew this was important, so that one day when that door opened again of somebody else coming into my life, I would be ready.  

However, throughout this process, I realized it would take time until I was emotionally available for another relationship in the future. Whether you’re emotionally available for a relationship or not, might not always be apparent right away. Read the 5 signs below to know if you’re emotionally available for a relationship: 

1. You’re At Peace With The Past 

A breakup always hurts, no matter how short or long the duration of your relationship was. For me, specifically, I was trying to learn how to find peace with what happened and simultaneously move forward. I knew that I needed the time to heal from my past, before I was emotionally available to open myself to a relationship again. Especially with the amount of resentment I was holding onto from what previously happened. 

The moment you stop fixating on the past, and start looking towards the present and future, is when you can start the process of being emotionally available again. Only time can heal the deepest wounds. You’ll never forget the scars from the past. But when you can learn how to let go and move on, is when you’ll truly be ready for what the future has waiting for you. 

Finding peace with the past is a sign that you’re becoming emotionally available when the time is right. You’re committing to closing doors that should be shut, starting with a clean slate to make room for new memories, experiences, and people. 

2. You’re Confident In Yourself

No matter what happens, being emotionally available means you’re confident and secure in who you are. You don’t need validation from anybody else, because you’ve already found it within yourself. My self-esteem and self-worth were demolished for so long, that I started not knowing who I was anymore. I felt like such a shell of a person, and the only thing that broke me out of it was learning how to renew my own confidence and strength. 

When we stop seeking validation from other people, it doesn’t matter if the relationship we’re hoping for doesn’t work out like we thought it would. Not that it won’t hurt any less, but it enables a sense of trust, believing that there’s always something better waiting for us. Especially if what we were hoping for suddenly falls apart. We’re confident in ourselves and who we are, knowing that nothing else determines our worth. 

3. You’re Willing To Express Your Emotions 

A huge part of being emotionally available is being willing to express your emotions. Each time we’re hurt by a relationship or a breakup, our hearts become guarded just a little more. I was putting up walls in the past because I was trying to protect myself from experiencing any amount of pain moving forward. 

Over time, as the walls kept building, it became difficult to learn how to express my feelings and emotions. I knew I wasn’t emotionally available to be in a relationship, because how could I articulate my feelings or emotions when I didn’t even know what they were?

Openly expressing your emotions goes hand in hand with learning how to be confident within yourself. I was extremely insecure because of how many times I was put down in the past. After feeling like I didn’t have a voice for years, it was difficult to express how I was feeling, often avoiding it altogether. 

Being in a relationship means always being honest with your partner and how you feel, openly expressing your emotions. Once you can start to break down the walls you’ve guarded your heart with, it’s easier to express how you feel without the fear of rejection or misunderstanding. When you’re willing to openly express your emotions and be honest with how you feel, you’re a step closer to becoming more emotionally available.

How to know you're emotionally available for a relationship.

4. You’re Content With Where You Are 

One of the best lessons I learned was how to be content with where I was at in my life. When we’re content where we’re at, we’re grateful for the things and people in our lives. It starts with knowing and accepting where you’re at, and being thankful for what you have, even if it feels like it might not change for awhile.

For so long, I wished to be happy again after getting out of a toxic relationship, that it often felt far out of reach. Deep down, I knew that one day I would feel happy again, but I didn’t know when that day would come. 

When we’re on the road to a destination, we’re so focused on how long it takes to get there. But once we’re there, we tend to wonder how we’re finally at the moment we were waiting for all along.

That’s exactly how it was for me, once I realized how content I was with where my life was at. I was happy with myself and my circumstances, even if they weren’t going to change for a long time. I learned how to enjoy every part of the journey, not just the final destination. An aspect of being emotionally available is being content with where you are, even if you aren’t exactly sure where you’re headed yet. Because you’ll always get there when you’re meant to, and not a moment sooner. 

5. You’re Seeking A Relationship For All The Right Reasons 

Too often, people might rush into a relationship because of loneliness, trying to get over an ex, or because of a timeline expectation. But, when you’re emotionally available, you seek a relationship for all the right reasons. You truly care about the person you’re with, and you don’t just want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. You’ve dealt with the pains of the past and allowed yourself the proper amount of time to heal.

Not only that, but you aren’t rushing to be with somebody else to fill an empty void. When we aren’t giving ourselves a fair chance to heal from who or what hurt us, those emotions only get pushed deeper. Eventually, however, they’ll always catch up. You’ll realize it’s always better to deal with those emotions sooner than later, so it doesn’t ruin a chance at a future relationship. 

When you’re emotionally available, you aren’t entering into a relationship just for the sake of being in one, but because you have a clear head and are ready to commit. Your emotions are in line with where they should be, and you feel ready to open your heart to another person. 

Recognizing your emotional availability before you get into a relationship is crucial. It involves finding peace with the past, building your confidence, and expressing your emotions. When something feels right, it is. Being emotionally available means committing with an open heart and mind. It takes time, but it always brings a renewed sense of vulnerability and openness to what the future might hold.

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  1. 3.29.24
    Victoria Prasad said:

    I’ve been married for 22yrs so this article isn’t applicable to me. I do agree with everything you’ve mentioned. Great advice. I do have two adult children who could benefit from this article so I will definitely be passing it along.

  2. 4.1.24

    Emotional availability is such a big thing. These are great points. Just need to figure out how to meet the right one now. 🙂

    • 4.1.24

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you found it helpful. & it’ll definitely happen when the time is right! ❤️

  3. 4.1.24

    Love this! Thank you for sharing!