Finding Purpose In Your Pain

Finding purpose in your pain.

During a low time in my life, I remember questioning, “Am I ever going to make it off this mountain that I keep going around and around?”

It felt like I would take one step forward, just to get pulled two steps backward. I couldn’t understand anything I was going through: a long-term friendship and relationship ending at the same time, not getting the job I wanted, and on top of it all trying to find the strength to finish out a difficult semester of college classes. It seemed like I was getting hit in every area. 

Every time I saw a glimpse of hope, then something else would happen, and it felt unrealistic that I would ever find a way out. What I couldn’t understand at the time, was that even when we’re going through the darkest trials of our lives—there’s always a purpose for where we are. 

Some seasons might feel too difficult to handle, as if you’re fighting to simply breathe. Especially during the moments when the hurt becomes all-consuming. While we can’t always understand the reasoning behind why we’re going through something, finding purpose in your pain can help guide you through even your darkest moments. 

Pain Doesn’t Define You, It Strengthens You

There were so many times I felt encompassed by my pain. It made me feel weak to be vulnerable about how I was feeling, almost as if I was giving myself an expectation that even though I was experiencing pain, I had to put on a face to be strong. 

We’re not weak through our difficult times. No matter how many times we break down or feel like we can’t get it right. As I look back at how my life felt during those times, compared to what it is today, I realize that there was always purpose in my pain. It always strengthened me, even in the moments I felt anything but strong.

We can’t always see over the mountain we’re on. But we have to keep walking forward and pushing through, no matter how many times we feel like we’re going in circles. Pain allows us to learn, grow, and trust during the hard times, until we make it to the other side. 

Hindsight Always Reveals What The Present Can’t 

It’s hard to understand a situation when we’re going through it. Even in the situations I described earlier, there was so much that didn’t make sense until many years later.

The friendships and relationships ended because it made space for the ones who were supposed to be in my life. I didn’t get that job because I wouldn’t be living where I am today. What I felt destroyed by at the time, ended up being some of the best things that ever happened to me. 

It hurts my heart a little now to look back and think about those times when I felt broken. I repeatedly questioned my self-worth and value. Doors kept closing, and I couldn’t understand why none of them stayed open. I kept feeling like I was given a tiny glimpse of what my life “could” be, just for it to be taken away from me. I never understood that they had to close, to bring me where I’m at now. 

We never know how the pieces of a puzzle are going to come together until the end. But looking back, we can always see how each piece connected to the next. Even if you can’t understand the reasoning of why you’re going through something at the moment, hindsight always reveals what the present can’t, and why you had to go through what you did. 

Focus On The Lesson, Not the Pain

I would always ask myself, “Why?”. Why is this happening to me? Why and when will it get resolved? Will I ever be able to move past this? I kept failing to trust that there was always a reason for what I was going through. Instead, I focused more on the pain than the lesson. 

Even though we can’t understand the reasoning for everything, or we don’t always have the answers, we have to trust that there’s always a purpose. By focusing on the pain rather than the bigger picture of it all, we’re only magnifying our hurt. It’s not to say we should shove aside our feelings and never deal with them, but it’s learning how to look past that pain and hurt.

After being in an extremely toxic relationship, I couldn’t understand the reasoning of why I went through it. Looking back, while some of my choices led me to where I was, I realized that there was a bigger lesson and purpose in it all. I was holding onto a relationship that I never should’ve held on to begin with. But now, years later, I’m able to speak out about my situation and help other women who went or are going through the same thing. I realized that although it was one of the worst experiences of my life, I’m able to connect with the people who have gone through it on such a deeper level.  

Sometimes we’re so encompassed by our pain that we can’t push it aside to see the bigger picture. We’ll never be able to understand the reasoning when we’re in the thick of it, but sometimes we’re not meant to. Sometimes things won’t make sense until way later in our lives. Shift your perspective to always focus on the lesson, not the pain.

Finding purpose in your pain.

Trust That Better Days Are Coming

It’s hard to believe you’ll ever make it out of a situation, especially when it appears that nothing is changing. Sometimes our pain is so deep and wide that it feels unbearable, especially when we can’t attach a sense of reasoning to it. 

We always think we know what’s best for us, especially when it’s something we want or desire, but if we could see behind the curtain of fate, we might find out that we didn’t want it like we thought we did. Know that even if your situation appears as if it isn’t changing, sometimes things are going on behind the scenes that you can’t see yet. 

Hold onto the hope and faith that the things that feel senseless, will make sense one day. We struggle to let go of the things we want to hold onto, but sometimes we were never meant to carry them in the first place. Even if you can’t understand the reasoning, trust that better days are coming. Even if not today, one day soon.

Throughout different times in our lives, we might stay in jobs we’re not meant to, hold onto friendships and relationships that we’re supposed to let go of, or maybe something isn’t working out how we thought it would. It’s hard when you know a chapter is about to close, but you have no control over how fast the page is turning.

We grow during our hard times. Trust there's always a reason and purpose for your pain. 

Sometimes we might not have answers to the questions we have, but we have to trust that even through our pain, there’s always a purpose in what we’re going through. We might even realize at the end that we would’ve never made it over the mountain if we didn’t persevere through all the ups and downs to eventually see our way through. Trust that everything will always turn out better than you could ever imagine. There’s purpose in your pain.

Leave a Comment


  1. 4.19.24

    So much truth in this post! ❤️