Important Things To Let Go Of To Become Your Best Self

Some of the hardest questions we ask ourselves can reveal the deepest answers if we give ourselves the chance to answer honestly. 

If I had asked myself years ago: “What’s something I need to let go of today that would make me better tomorrow?” The list of things I was unknowingly holding onto would’ve been endless. 

My 20s were filled with constantly trying to figure out who I was, along with countless mistakes, rejections, losses, and even a few regrets. There was a time throughout those years when my life felt entirely black and white because I was struggling to find my direction and path while learning how to stay true to who I was. I kept holding onto those mistakes and regrets, not realizing how much it was holding me back in the end.

One of the most important lessons I learned throughout that time is that we grow in the hard times that shape who we are. Through all the mistakes I made, including the difficult times and hard situations I faced, there were things I needed to learn how to let go of so I could step into the person I was meant to become.

We can never be our authentic selves if we continue holding onto the things that weigh us down. Until we learn how to let go, we’ll continue staying right where we are. If you feel like you’re continuously stuck in the same cycle, here are some important things to let go of to become your best self:

Let Go Of Negative Thought Patterns 

Just as patterns repeat themselves, so can negative thoughts. While we can’t always control what happens to us, we can control our thoughts and how we think and feel about ourselves.

When I was in an abusive relationship, I had little self-esteem or respect for myself. I felt almost as if I “deserved” how I was being treated because of the handful of regrets and mistakes I made throughout my early 20s. A lot of that guilt carried over into that relationship, and I found myself trapped in a negative cycle of thinking: blaming myself for the past choices that led me exactly where I was.

After finding the strength to leave that relationship, I realized I’d been giving my energy to all the wrong things. Just because something happened a certain way in the past, it didn’t mean that was paving the way for everything in my future. Once I stopped blaming myself for things I couldn’t change, I was able to break free from the negative thought patterns that kept holding me back.

What we tell ourselves is what we believe, and our thoughts have a direct correlation to how we feel about ourselves. I recently found an old birthday card a friend gave me during that time of my life and inside she wrote: “Your positive attitude no matter what you’re going through is always so inspirational.” Reading it even years later showed me that even when my world was falling to pieces around me, choosing to hold onto hope and the positivity that things would get better (no matter how it looked) helped carry me through.

Sometimes I think we underestimate the power of our thoughts and how much they influence our lives. A negative thought pattern always repeats itself. If we develop and continue thinking negatively, we’ll always stay stuck in that mindset. You aren’t losing anything by remaining positive, no matter how your situation looks or feels. Even when you might not feel positive or when you can’t see what’s ahead of you.

The most important part of learning how to let go of negative thoughts is knowing that your situation can improve at any moment. We can’t always change our circumstances, but we can always choose to hold onto a positive mindset. 

Let Go Of Holding Onto The Past 

Sometimes we hold onto the past longer than we should because of lingering pain, memories, or attachment to the people we never wanted to lose. 

When I reflect on the times I was holding onto the past, I realize that subconsciously, a part of me was trying to relive what once was. One of the hardest parts about accepting we have to move forward is learning that not everything in our lives is meant to remain exactly the same.

Sometimes doors close without warning, people leave unexpectedly, or life takes us down a path that we didn’t expect to be on. But when we allow the past to consume us longer than necessary, we aren’t giving ourselves a fair chance to heal and move on. You can’t heal and move forward if you never learn how to let go of the past.

Processing what we went through, whether it was a breakup, a friendship ending, or an unexpected life change, is something that we might have to grieve little by little, to slowly start making space for what’s waiting for us ahead. Your strength isn’t only found in moving on, it’s also found in learning how to let go. 

We can never change or alter the past, but we always have a choice of how we’re going to move forward. Holding onto the past keeps us stuck where we are. The longer we hold onto something, the harder it is to let go. Use it as an opportunity to help you learn and grow for the future, but never hold onto it longer than necessary.

Related posts you might like:

• How To Leave The Past Behind You And Move Forward
• The Hard Truth About Healing And Growth
• 7 Important Things To Let Go Of In 2025

Let Go Of Any Unforgiveness 

I wrote an entire article about the importance of practicing forgiveness for your inner peace. It took me years to learn how to forgive somebody who never seemed remorseful. But what I learned was the longer we hold onto those feelings, the more we hold onto bitterness, anger, and resentment. Harboring how I felt wasn’t hurting the other person, it was only hurting myself in the end.

I knew I had to work through the unforgiveness, not only to let go of how I felt, but also forgiving myself for everything I held onto. I couldn’t move on until I learned how to let go, and reliving a situation over and over again is never healthy or productive for trying to move forward. Especially since we can’t change what’s already happened.

One of the most important aspects of forgiveness is letting go for your inner peace. It means learning how to look beyond what happened so that you can dig into and unravel the emotions and pain you’ve held onto for so long.

When we repeatedly dwell on the past, it becomes harder for us to practice forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t always immediate, but it’s okay if it’s something you have to practice over and over. Strength and grace will always push you through, even if you can only let go a little each day. Sometimes the smallest progress towards forgiveness ends up being what helps you let go completely. 

Let Go Of Past Mistakes 

I used to fixate on my past mistakes to the point where I would let them would consume my every thought.

I never knew how to let go of my mistakes, because I kept focusing on how they brought me to where I was. There was such a disconnect between realizing that those mistakes and even the times I couldn’t understand, brought me exactly where I needed to be eventually. 

Just as we need to forgive ourselves for what we can’t change, we also need to learn how to let go of our past mistakes because it’s equally something that we can’t change. Instead of looking at those mistakes as failures, see them as opportunities for growth. Reflect on how you’ve grown from your mistakes, and what you’ve learned as a result.

For example; if you’ve deeply hurt somebody you love and are struggling to let go of past mistakes, consider writing a letter to that person. Even if you have no intention of sending it, it’ll help you get to the root of what happened or why you made the choices you did. List things you can change or how you can be better in the future, even if not specifically with that person but in general.