The last few months have taught me that self-care isn’t just about showing up for yourself when it’s easy or convenient, it’s about learning how to show up for yourself even when it feels incredibly hard.
This year started with a lot of unknowns and uncertainty, and I found myself not knowing how to move forward. I’m not usually a person who dwells on life circumstances, especially because I know there’s so much out of our control—but when one thing started piling on top of another, I found myself at an inevitable breaking point.
Instead of feeling like I had to completely start over to find my way back to myself, I started mapping out how to show up for myself in small, consistent ways. Self-care doesn’t always mean a dramatic transformation or the perfect morning routine, it’s often found in the quiet moments and the ways we choose to love ourselves despite what we’re going through.
Even when we can’t control what’s going on around us, we can always find a moment to pause, reflect, and find ways to reconnect with ourselves. Only you know what truly makes you feel whole, but here are 7 simple self-care habits to help you feel like yourself again:
1. Focus On The Small Wins
One of the bravest things we can do for ourselves during a hard time is to keep moving forward, despite how we feel.
The last few months taught me that showing up for yourself isn’t only found in being able to check everything off a list—it’s found in the quiet moments and the moments that ground you back to who you are. It’s about showing up for yourself even when it’s hard and learning how to be proud of the ‘small wins’ even when they feel minimal.
I’ve always been huge on self-care because I know how important it is physically, mentally, and emotionally to take care of ourselves. Even on the days when I was going through a hard time and felt completely drained, I promised myself to do one normal thing. Doing one normal thing helped me feel grounded and reconnected to myself, even if it was as simple as asking what I needed to take care of myself for the day.
- getting out of bed when I didn’t feel like it
- connecting with friends even when my social battery felt drained
- crying when I needed to, instead of holding it all in
- exercising even when my motivation felt at an all-time low
It’s easy to overlook the small moments, but they’re actually the ones that can end up strengthening us the most. Self-care isn’t always about “doing it all”, it’s about showing up for yourself in any way you can, and letting that be more than enough.
2. Pause And Check In With Yourself
Our lives are fast-paced, so it’s natural that we don’t always take the time to pause and check in with how we’re feeling. But, if we’re constantly on overdrive, how can we truly understand our emotions or face the pain we’re carrying?
Taking a moment to reflect can make all the difference in how we move forward. One thing that always makes me feel grounded and reconnected with myself is expressing how I feel through words. Setting aside time to journal helps me figure out where I’m at mentally, and identify what I need to change to move forward.
Whether it’s writing to set intentions for the week, reflecting at the end of it, or even setting aside a few minutes to pause can make all the difference. Self-care can look like taking a break from overthinking and letting the words flow, even when you’re not sure what you want to say, or you can’t pinpoint exactly how you feel.
Other ways to pause and check in with yourself are recognizing what you need to feel more like yourself, even if it’s for a short time. Maybe it’s rewatching a comfort show (my recent one was Full House), meeting up with a friend for dinner, or winding down at the end of the night with a candlelit bath.
Too often, we try to convince ourselves how we should feel by a certain time. But self-care isn’t about where you think you should be, it’s about honoring what you need right now.
3. Listen To Your Body
Just as you’re the only one who knows what’s going to fulfill you, you’re also the only one who knows exactly what your body needs.
Burnout happens when we’re either taking on too much at once, or ignoring the obvious signs that we need to slow down. After I first launched my website, I felt like I wasn’t being productive enough if I wasn’t constantly working on something. It became consuming to the point where I couldn’t shut my mind off, which quickly led to emotional and physical exhaustion.
After I started setting limits for myself and carving out extra time for self-care, I was able to rest and reset. Listening to your body doesn’t mean pushing yourself to the limits of exhaustion, it means paying attention to what you need to feel at your best.
Listening to your needs won’t look like overexerting yourself, whether it’s in your work, at the gym, or even in your personal life. Some simple self-care habits you can incorporate are:
- paying attention to your water intake (try starting your day by drinking a full glass of water to rehydrate)
- getting outside for fresh air, even if it’s only for 15 minutes
- setting a ‘no-scrolling’ rule before bedtime to help improve your sleep routine and mental clarity
- eating nourishing foods that give you energy
- allowing yourself to rest and relax when you need it the most by recognizing when your body is telling you to take a break
Never underestimate the smallest changes that you can add to your routine that can end up making the biggest difference in how you feel daily.
4. Be Intentional With What You Consume
Imposter syndrome was something that I used to struggle with for years. My definition of success became skewed because I was constantly comparing myself to other writers, not realizing that even though my path looked different, it didn’t mean that it wasn’t right for me at the time.
When we’re constantly comparing ourselves to where we “aren’t”, we’ll always feel like we’re falling short of our expectations to where we think we should be. Be intentional with anything you’re consuming, whether it’s the social media accounts you follow, the podcasts you listen to, the books you read, or even the people you surround yourself with.
I’m not ashamed to admit that there were times when I had to unfollow multiple social media accounts because it was draining my mental health. It felt impossible to be happy with where I was because I kept focusing on where I wasn’t, and I knew consuming other people’s content was only bringing me down.
Sometimes the most simple self-care habit you can practice is learning how to protect your mental health. It’s okay to temporarily unfollow, mute, or remove anything from your life that isn’t adding positivity. It’s not to say that you’ll always be in that headspace, but know that it’s okay to recognize and remove something from your life when it’s harming you more than helping you.
5. Say No Without Guilt
The one thing we have to remember about self-care the most is that it’s learning how to care for yourself.
By definition, self-care is: “The practice of taking care of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of your life to promote health and wellness.” When thinking about what makes you feel the best mentally, physically, or emotionally, ask yourself if what you’re surrounding yourself with makes you feel like the best or worst version of yourself.
As somebody who’s struggled with people-pleasing the majority of my life, setting boundaries and learning how to say no without guilt was never something that came easy to me. I always thought that if I said no to something that I knew wouldn’t serve me, I had to attach a lengthy explanation to justify my feelings or thoughts.
Prioritizing self-care also means figuring out what’s most important to you, and what makes you feel like the best possible version of yourself. Setting boundaries is a habit that helps you take care of your emotional well-being. Boundaries are never a sign of weakness, they’re a sign of strength and respect for yourself because you know what you’ll stand for and what you won’t.
It took me a long time to realize that the people who truly respect you will value your boundaries, regardless if they understand them or not. You don’t have to feel guilty when you say no to something that isn’t going to bring you happiness or make you feel better in some aspect. Show yourself self-care by learning how to say no without guilt, or feeling like you need a lengthy explanation.
6. Let Your Emotions Out Without Holding Back
Sometimes the best way to decompress is to let out all your emotions without holding back.
Maybe this means crying if you need to rather than holding it in, giving yourself compassion and grace for the things you can’t change, or releasing your thoughts and feelings by writing them out.
I’ve internalized a lot of my emotions throughout the years because a part of me felt like ignoring them would somehow erase the heavy feelings I didn’t want to deal with. However, what I found time after time was that the longer I suppressed my feelings, the more weight they carried. We can only suppress our true feelings and emotions for so long before they eventually resurface.
Some things that have helped me to let out my emotions have been:
- talking it out with a trusted friend who listens
- brain dumping on paper where I write any and everything that comes to mind
- forgiving myself for things I didn’t know any better about
- letting myself have a good cry session
Releasing your emotions and feelings is a self-care habit that helps you process and move through your heavy emotions. Never underestimate the power that releasing your feelings can have. Life won’t always feel light, and we’ll all experience hard times, but a simple act of self-care can be letting yourself feel your emotions without holding back.
7. Reframe Negative Thoughts To Positive Ones
Our thoughts influence how we think, feel, and essentially act. Just as we need to listen to our body, we also need to pay attention to the thoughts we have whether they’re positive or negative, and reframe them accordingly.
A positive mindset starts with accepting that you can’t always control your circumstances, but you can redirect your thoughts. It’s okay if you’re walking through a time in your life where you feel like you aren’t measuring up to where you thought you would be. But, instead of getting down on yourself for where you are or aren’t, accept that where you are now is enough.
While I’ve mentioned in my recent articles that I’ve been experiencing a hard season since the beginning of the year, in the last month or so I finally started feeling a little lighter. The truth about having a positive mindset is that you won’t always feel positive. One of the hardest things to work through is when you’re trying to convince yourself to feel a certain way by a specific time, yet knowing you’re not quite there yet.
Here are a few examples of how you can shift your mindset from negative to positive:
- Accept where you are. Example: “Things might not feel okay today, but that doesn’t mean they won’t get better soon.”
- Drop the “all-or-nothing” mentality. Example: “Even the smallest step forward is still a step forward in the right direction.”
- Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Example: “I’m not failing, I’m growing, evolving, and becoming.”
Reframing your thoughts can become a self-care habit that starts with a more positive mindset. Even the smallest mindset shift can make all the difference moving forward. Remember, even if you don’t always ‘feel’ positive, there’s still always something that you can find to be positive about.
Self-care doesn’t always look like a major breakthrough or finally reaching a milestone. Sometimes, it’s found in the simple habits and ways you show up for yourself despite how you feel, day after day. The smallest changes can lead to the biggest shifts, which usually start with where you are and what you have. Each step is always a step closer to where you want to be.
