This past month, I spent a lot of time reflecting on the significance of the hard times in our lives and how much they push us towards growth.
Since October was Domestic Violence Awareness month, I dedicated the month to spreading as much awareness as I could about the reality of abusive relationships. It was the first time in years that I dug into that part of my past and spoke publicly about my situation.
Throughout the month and even now, I realized that pain can change us in ways that we’d often least expect.
I never saw myself as growing through the traumatic and difficult times I went through—I saw myself as learning how to simply survive. What once made me feel broken ended up pushing me to find meaning and purpose in my pain. I learned that sometimes, no matter how much time passes, you’ll never truly forget the pains of the past or the moments that deeply changed you in one way or another.
This reflection made me think about all the moments that essentially made me who I am today—and how much beauty there is in learning how to grow through the hard times.
Growth Reminds Us To Slow Down And Re-Evaluate Where We Are
One thing that remained constant in the hardships I faced was how growth taught me the importance of slowing down so I could re-evaluate where I was and where I wanted to be.
Our lives are made up of choices. I spent years feeling trapped in a situation, afraid that if I made a different choice, it could lead to a worse place than I was already in. Comfort tries to keep us in the same place we’ve always been. However, the beauty of growth in hard times reminds us that there’s always an opportunity for us to slow down and re-evaluate where we are and where we want to be.
After leaving the abusive relationship I was in, I realized it was more important to figure out how I wanted my life to feel, rather than holding onto the false version that was stuck in my head. If situations in my life would’ve never changed or evolved, even if I wasn’t ready for a door to close, it’s likely that I would’ve stayed exactly where I was.
Growth in hard times teaches us that it’s okay to make a different choice, even if it’s completely out of our comfort zone. We’re not always supposed to stay where we are—but the fear of change can sometimes hold us somewhere longer than we’re meant to be.
Even if you’re unsure where your path will lead you, take it as an opportunity to re-evaluate what’s most important to you. What do you consider non-negotiable? Who do you want to spend your time with or surround yourself with? What will fulfill you the most, and what would your life need to look like for you to get there?
Rock bottom isn’t a place you’re supposed to stay, but a place where you start rebuilding your life when you’re unsure where your path will lead you. Growth helps us re-evaluate where we are, and reminds us that we are always free to make a different choice.
Growth Helps Us Learn How To Embrace Discomfort
Whether we choose to make a major life change or it happens because of the hardships we face, growth teaches us how to embrace the discomfort that comes along with it.
Growth might demand different versions of us at different times. If we always lean on what’s comfortable and familiar, then we aren’t giving ourselves a chance to heal and grow in the way we deserve.
I knew that for me to step into my ‘new’ life after I left that abusive relationship, I had to learn how to let go of the ‘old’ me. Sitting with these emotions and sorting through them made me realize how much discomfort can come with growth and healing through hard times.
It required me to dig into the emotions and memories that I tried to suppress for so long. But I knew how important it was to lean into the discomfort and pain so that I could learn how to let them go, even if it was one by one.
The beauty of growth through hard times is learning to embrace the discomfort that comes along with it. Sometimes it’s about learning how to sit in the hard moments, knowing that the discomfort is temporary. It doesn’t mean that we’ll always feel that way, but it’ll help us learn how to grow through the pain.
Even when growth demands a different version of you, there’s still beauty in learning how to grow through the hard times. You’ll never be the same person you were before, but more often than not, you won’t want to be. Embrace the discomfort and trust that it’ll lead you exactly where you’re meant to be—even through pain.
Growth Helps Us Appreciate The Small Things In Life
The beauty of growth in hard times taught me how to appreciate the smaller things in life—the things I often lost sight of throughout the hardships I was facing.
It forced me to take a hard look at what truly mattered—whether it was the people I surrounded myself with, how I spent my time, or what fulfilled me and helped me become a better version of myself.
When we go through life-altering situations, it’s easy for our minds to become clouded by all the things that we might’ve lost along the way. There were so many pieces of myself that I sacrificed over the years because I was caught up in trying to save a relationship that wasn’t meant to be saved.
I knew I couldn’t control what happened to me and I couldn’t change what I went through. But what I could control was shifting my mindset to focus on everything that made me whole. The beauty of growth in hard times taught me that even through adversity, there was still so much I could choose to focus on and be grateful for. Sometimes it’s found in the simplest moments that shape who we are, pushing us toward where we want to be.
Growth Reminds Us That We’re On Our Own Timeline
There were so many times in my life when I would get caught up in ‘timelines’, focusing on where I should or shouldn’t be—rather than accepting that I wasn’t on anybody else’s timeline except for my own.
Whether we’re changing careers, moving cities, or leaving a relationship, what’s most important to remember about growth and healing in hard times is that we are where we are for a reason. The only path we should be following is our own—not anybody else’s.
The root of comparison often stems from the pressure of feeling like we’re behind if we aren’t matched to what somebody else’s life looks like. But what I’ve learned about the beauty of growth in hard times is the importance of soaking in each moment where I am, instead of looking at where I ‘think’ I should be.
We can’t magically speed time up or change our current circumstances because it’s what we want—no matter how bad we want things to be different. All we can do is trust that our journey and path is unfolding how it’s meant to. Several years ago, after I left that abusive relationship, I knew that it would’ve been unfair for me to compare where I was to where my friends were—most of which, were getting married at the time.
I was learning how to grow through my healing, and accepting that, just because my life looked different from theirs, it was okay to be on my own timeline. Even in the times we can’t understand or when we wish our circumstances were different, we need to learn how to adapt the ‘redirection’ mindset. Growth teaches us the importance of slowing down and embracing where we are, rather than where we think we should be.
We can never attach our worth to the hard times we face. Instead, we need to remember that we’re stronger and more resilient because of those challenges and how we walk through them. The beauty of finding growth in hard times is learning that it’s okay if things don’t turn out as we planned initially, because it’ll always turn out for the best in the end. It won’t always be easy pushing through the hard times we endure, but it’ll always be worth it.
